Microsoft Email Blockade: Doh! Did They Block "Donut" Too?

Missing Emails: Where Did They Go D'oh?!

Woohoo! Newsflash from yours truly Homer Simpson investigative journalist extraordinaire! Seems like some folks at Microsoft are having a real problem. Their emails are disappearing faster than a box of donuts at a police convention! I heard that if you put words like 'Palestine,' 'Gaza,' or even 'genocide' in your email poof! Gone! Vanished! Like me trying to find my car in the Springfield Mall parking lot. Even emails about HR stuff! That's worse than finding out the Duff factory is out of Duff! D'oh!

The Signature of Doom

One poor sap had 'apartheid' in their email signature and suddenly their emails were slower than Barney Gumble running a marathon! It's like when Marge tries to make me eat broccoli – total blockage! And get this some folks tried to trick the system with 'P4lestine,' and it worked! It's like trying to sneak a donut past Lisa – she'll see right through ya... unless it's covered in sprinkles.

Frank Shaw Says 'Relax Just a Little Delay'

Now some big shot at Microsoft a Frank Shaw fella is saying everything's A okay. He claims there's no censorship just a 'small delay.' Yeah right! That's like saying Krusty the Clown is just a *little* bit depressing. They say they're trying to stop too many emails going to too many people. But even normal emails to small groups are vanishing! This smells fishier than a week old donut in Lenny's locker!

Seven Hour Delays?! That's Longer Than My Nap Time!

We're talking SEVEN HOUR delays! That's longer than it takes me to watch all the Itchy & Scratchy episodes in a row! Some group called "No Azure for Apartheid" thinks someone is manually reading these emails before they go out. Sounds like a job for the FBI... or maybe just Chief Wiggum. He's got experience with 'investigating' donut thefts.

Protests and Terminations: Mmm Protest... Mmm Terminations?

Turns out people are protesting Microsoft's AI stuff being used by the Israeli military. At some fancy Microsoft event some brave souls yelled about 'genocide' and 'apartheid.' One guy even interrupted Satya Nadella himself! The nerve! But guess what? These protesters got the boot faster than you can say 'Duff Beer!' It's like Mr. Burns firing Smithers for accidentally turning off the power to his nuclear plant. Harsh man harsh!

Respectful Workplace? More Like 'Respectful... Or Else!'

So Microsoft says they fired one dude for "misconduct" and violating their "expectations of a respectful workplace." What a load of malarkey! It sounds like they're more worried about PR than people. I always say a little yelling never hurt nobody... except maybe Marge's eardrums. But hey at least it's not as bad as that time I tried to run the power plant. Doh!