Doh! Trumps Tariffs are Making Me Pay More for Donuts on Amazon!

Tariffs? More Like TERRIFYING!

Woohoo! It's your pal Homer Simpson reporting live from my couch! I just heard this Jassy guy from Amazon – not to be confused with 'sassy,' which is what Marge calls me sometimes – is saying Trump's tariffs are making things more expensive. Doh! That means my precious donuts might cost more! Is there anything Trump won't do to hurt the working man?! I used to love Trump because he said he loved the poorly educated but I am the everyman and the working man so I guess he doesn't love me.

Third Party Sellers? More Like Third Rate Prices!

Apparently these 'third party sellers' – sounds like a bunch of Krusty the Klowns to me – are gonna pass the extra cost onto us the poor saps buying stuff! Jassy says they don't have '50% extra margin,' whatever that means. All I know is if Lenny and Carl can't afford their Duff and I can't afford my donuts we're gonna have a Springfield meltdown and not the fun kind! I should call my friend Comic Book Guy I bet he knows a lot about this but he is soooooo boring!

Amazon's Secret Plan: Strategic Inventory Buys?!

This Jassy guy also mentioned something about 'strategic forward inventory buys' and 'renegotiating terms.' Sounds like a lot of fancy pants words for 'tryin' not to raise prices.' Good luck with that Jassy! I bet the evil Mr. Burns is behind this somehow trying to hoard all the sprinkles in Springfield! I always knew Bezos was evil I mean who makes that much money?! He is probably behind everything and is an alien just like Kang and Kodos.

People are Buying...Ahead?

He says people are buying stuff ahead of time like they know prices are gonna skyrocket faster than Bart on a skateboard! He isn't wrong though I might go buy a few dozen donuts just to be safe you know for a rainy day. Or Tuesday. Or any day ending in 'y'! I thought I saw Wiggum at Costco the other day buying 100 boxes of Twinkies maybe I was right? I am never wrong I mean I am never right!

Trump's Tariff Tango: Now You See It Now You Don't!

First Trump's like 'Tariffs for everyone!' Then he's like 'Oops just kidding! 10% for most...except China!' Sounds like Moe changing the Duff Beer tap after I've already ordered one. Always with the bait and switch! I should just go back to drinking water... nah!

AI Data Centers and...Donuts?

Apparently these tariffs could mess with stuff that helps computers think good – AI and data centers! Amazon's got this big cloud thingy and they're spending a bajillion dollars on AI. All I care about is will these fancy robots be able to deliver donuts faster? If not I'm sticking with Lenny and Carl my personal donut delivery team always there... to mooch off me! DOH!