Doh! They're Making Drones Now?! Helsing Gets a Truckload of Dough!

Mmm Money! And Lots of It!

Woohoo! Turns out some company called Helsing – sounds kinda like a bad guy from a monster movie right? – just got a whopping 600 million euros! That's like a gazillion donuts! Seems like they're making… uh… defense y stuff. You know things that go pew pew and boom boom. Apparently some big shots from Spotify that music thingy my kids are always glued to gave 'em the cash. I hope they use some of that dough to make a donut shaped drone. Now *that's* defense!

War... What is it Good For? (Except Making Money!)

D'oh! Turns out wars are good for *something* – making money for companies like Helsing. With all that Ukraine business and those squabbles in the Middle East everyone's suddenly got the jitters and wants to buy more… uh… shooty things. Last year Europe's defense sector had more money that I have donuts. It grew up about 30 percent! I'd be happy with a growth of 30 percent in my stomach size.

AI? Is That Like Artificial Flavoring?

These Helsing fellas they're selling some kind of software that uses… *AI*. Sounds like something Lisa would be into. Apparently it helps the army guys make decisions. Probably tells them where the best donut shops are right? Last year they even started making their own drones! Mmm drones...

Europe Wants Their Own Toys

So these Helsing guys are gonna use all that cash to make sure Europe can make its own… uh… boom boom machines. They're calling it 'technological sovereignty.' Sounds kinda like trying to make your own Duff beer but with more explosions. As that fancy pants guy Ek said apparently Europe needs to make it's own defense stuff because of those geopolitical whatchamacallits. I still don't trust those Brussels sprouts!

Valued? More Like Overvalued!

They didn't say how much Helsing is worth now but last time someone asked they were valued at like 5 billion euros! Holy guacamole! That's more money than Mr. Burns has! I bet they could buy a whole fleet of those… flying drone things. I wonder if they'll use them to deliver donuts. Now that's an idea worth a billion euros!

Mmm Approvals...

But before they can start making all those drones and… uh… things they need to get the thumbs up from someone. It seems like there's a few papers to fill and people to talk to. Hopefully I can become an advisor. I know nothing about defense but I can offer them donuts and great advice like 'Don't have a cow man!'