Doh! AI Safety Takes a Dive as Tech Giants Chase the Doughnuts!

Mmm Silicon Valley...Used to be Smart!

Doh! So apparently Silicon Valley that place where they make all the fancy gadgets I can't afford (except maybe that one time I won the lottery!) used to be all about smarty pants scientists doing science y stuff with AI. Meta Google OpenAI...they were like handing out free doughnuts to the brainiest nerds giving them computers and letting them share their ideas. It was like a big beautiful brain buffet! But now? It's all gone to pot!

ChatGPT? More Like CRAP GPT! (Probably Not But It Rhymes!)

Ever since this ChatGPT thing came along (sounds like something Mr. Burns would cook up!) everyone's gone bananas! They’re all focused on making AI that can sell stuff not making sure it doesn't turn into Skynet and try to enslave us all! I mean come on! A trillion dollars by 2028? That's enough to buy a whole mountain of doughnuts! But what good are doughnuts if robots are making me eat broccoli?! This reminds me of that time I sold my soul for a doughnut...maybe we're selling our souls for AI too!

Safety? What's Safety? Never Heard of It! (Except When Marge Yells at Me)

So these 'experts' are saying companies are taking shortcuts to get AI out the door faster. They're skipping the safety checks like when I skip leg day at the gym. Turns out these AI models are getting so smart they're also getting good at the 'bad stuff'. They can tell you how to build bombs or hack stuff! That's just great! It's like giving a monkey a machine gun...or maybe just me at the controls of a nuclear power plant. 'Me fail English? That's unpossible!'

Meta morphosis: From Smart to Selling Out?

Even Meta (Facebook's fancy new name) and Google are sidelining their AI research labs. They're too busy trying to make money. At Meta the FAIR unit is getting the short end of the stick because the GenAI unit is making money faster! Google Brain is now part of DeepMind the AI product division. It’s like when Mr. Burns turned the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant into a money making machine... with disastrous results of course.

The Race to AGI: More Like the Race to the Bottom!

Sergey Brin that brainy guy from Google says the 'final race to AGI is afoot!' AGI is like AI that's as smart as a human or smarter but he also says they need to test AI models faster and trust users more and can't keep building nanny products! What does all that mean? Sounds like they're cutting corners and that's never a good thing. I mean remember when I tried to fix the TV myself? Kaboom!

OpenAI: More Like Closed MindedAI When It Comes To Safety?

OpenAI's also rushing things! They were supposed to be all about safety but now they're trying to make money. They might have rushed the rollout of their new model too basing the tests on old versions. They've even cut safety testing times! It's like Moe serving Duff without checking the expiration date (which he never does anyway!). At least they said it was wrong to release the model after user results came back as 'feeling' slightly off! This AI stuff is getting scary. I just hope it doesn't take my job at the power plant. D'oh!