Screw You Guys, I'm Getting AI Chips! Trump's Giving the UAE All Our Tech!

Respect My Authoritah! Trump's Making Deals!

Okay listen up you guys! I'm Eric Cartman and I'm here to tell you that life just isn't fair! That freakin' Donald Trump he's over in the UAE making deals like he's giving away free Kyle flavored ice cream! Apparently he's letting them buy all our awesome AI chips. I can't believe it! He literally wants to give these guys our most awesome chips. I thought Trump was supposed to make America great again not make the UAE...greater!

500,000 Chips? Sweet!

So get this: apparently the UAE is gonna get 500,000 of Nvidia's H100 chips every year! 500,000! That's like a bazillion! They're gonna use them to build super cool data centers. It's not fair! I want a data center! I'd use it for... uh... important stuff. Like calculating how many times Kyle cries in a day. Yeah that's important! You will respect my authoritah!

The Biden Rule? More Like the Biden Sucks Rule!

Apparently there's this stupid rule Biden made called the 'AI diffusion rule,' which is totally lame. It stops us from selling cool chips to even our friends! But Trump's like 'Screw you guys I'm going home!' and he's getting rid of it! Which is cool. But also maybe not so cool? I dunno. It's complicated.

China's Gonna Get Our Tech? Oh My God They Killed Kenny!

Some people are saying if we give the UAE all these chips China might steal them! China! Those Commies! Then they'll have even MORE power! We can't let that happen! It's like when Kenny dies every episode. It's just not right! I’m gonna kick you in the nuts!

A Massive AI Campus? I Want One!

Trump and the UAE are building this HUGE AI campus in Abu Dhabi. It's supposed to be the biggest one outside of America! Ten square miles! Can you believe it? Why can't we have one in South Park? We could call it 'Cartman's Awesome AI Lair!' And I'd be the boss! Screw you guys I'm going home!

Tech CEOs Hanging with Trump? Totally Not Fair!

All these big shot tech CEOs were hanging out with Trump like Jensen Huang from Nvidia and Sam Altman from OpenAI. It's not fair! Why weren't I invited? I could've given them some REALLY good ideas! Like how to make an AI that only does what I say! Now that would be awesome!