Salesforce Makes Big Kazaki Money Moves: Is Very Nice!

Jagshemash! Salesforce Makes Boom Boom!

Chenqui! I am Borat Sagdiyev reporting live from... well not Kazakhstan but the crazy world of American biznes! I must tell you Salesforce is making more money than gypsy steal from wedding! They say they have $9.83 billion in revenue which is more than my village makes in many many years maybe ever! This is very nice! But is it true? Or is big American lie like Pamela Anderson saying she love my hairy back?

High Five! Earning are VERY NICE!

The important numbers they go up! Like my excitement when I see woman with... never mind. Salesforce make $2.58 per share more than experts expect! Marc Benioff he is very happy like when I see a toilet that is not just hole in ground. But he also spend a lot of money. Is this good or bad? I do not know! Maybe he should ask my neighbor Nursultan Tulyakbay he good with money but also like to wear women's clothing very strange!

Informatica: New Wife New Problem?

Salesforce they buy Informatica for $8 billion! This is like buying whole village in Kazakhstan! Benioff say he wanted this for 20 years like I want Pamela Anderson to be my wife. But maybe this is too much? Some people worry like when I bring bear to dinner party. But Benioff he don't care he say it's good! It's reasonable! Very nice! But what is Informatica anyway? Is it like potatoes? I hope so I like potatoes.

Slack Attack: Never Forget!

Everyone remember when Salesforce buy Slack for $27.1 billion? That was more expensive than gold toilet! People were not happy. Now they buy Informatica and people say 'Okay this is not as crazy as Slack!' So maybe Benioff learn his lesson? Or maybe he just has too much vodka? Either way he is spending money like I spend compliments on American women – very generous but maybe not always sincere.

AI Magic or Just Another Donkey?

Salesforce now have AI agents like little robots that do work. They save $50 million by firing people! This is sad like when I try to sell my sister for goat. But also good because Salesforce make more money! They say they can make even more next quarter. Is this real or like when gypsy promise you gold for your shoes? Only time will tell.

Is Salesforce Great Success or Great Disappointment?

Salesforce say they will make even MORE money next year! They are very optimistic like I am when I think I can win beauty pageant. But some things like marketing maybe not so good. The shares go down like my pants when I try to dance American style. So is Salesforce very nice or just another complicated American story? I don't know! But I will keep watching because maybe one day they will need a good journalist from Kazakhstan to explain it all. Chenqui!