Jagshemash! Samsung Make Phone Fold Like My Sister, But Thinner! Very Nice!

Great Success! Phone Fold Just Like My Cousin!

Jagshemash! Borat here bringing you the latest news from world of technology! Samsung company known for making very nice things like televisions and washing machines is now making phone that fold! Like my cousin who is acrobat in circus! They fight with Chinese rivals to make phone thinner than my mustache after a good shave! Is very important this thinness!

Why Thinness is Important? Is Like My Wife's Cooking!

Why must phone be thin? Because people they are lazy! They do not want brick in pocket! Ben Wood big brain from CCS Insight say people not want phone thicker than head to get big screen! It is like my wife's cooking – if is too heavy nobody eat! Honor and Oppo they make phone thin like supermodel! Samsung must copy or they will lose like when I try to wrestle bear!

Compare! Compare! Like Beauty Contest in Kazakhstan!

Let us compare like beauty contest in Kazakhstan! Samsung Galaxy Z Fold is thick like me after eating ten bowls of plov. Oppo's Find N5 is thinner like supermodel from Belarus! And Honor Magic V3 is even thinner like my patience when waiting in line for toilet paper! Samsung must make phone thin or they lose face!

Samsung Step Up! Like When I Try to Impress Pamela Anderson!

Samsung say they make new phone the thinnest ever! Meticulously crafted like my lies to avoid paying taxes! They say is lightest and most advanced like my cousin who steal chickens but now claim to be environmentalist! But Honor is also making new phone! Is like race to top like when I try to impress Pamela Anderson with my 'cultural learnings'!

Market Not So Hot! Like My Attempts to Sell Horse Manure!

But problem! Market for folding phones not so big! Only 2% of phones are foldable like my success rate with American women! Maybe thin phone will change minds but people still not understand why need phone that fold like my grandma's back! Is difficult to convince like trying to explain jokes to Uzbekistani!

Apple Join the Party! Very Nice! Wawaweewa!

But news! Apple the company that make phone for rich people also want to make folding phone! Starting next year! Very nice! Maybe then folding phones become popular like when I wear mankini on beach! Wawaweewa! Soon everyone have folding phone and world will be good place! Chenqui!