IBM Makes More Money Than I Make Complaining About My Neighbor Nursultan Tulyakbay! Is Great Success!

Jagshemash! IBM Have Big Success!

Jagshemash my name Borat! I bring you news of great importance! IBM the maker of computers that are faster than my cousin’s donkey they report big big money! Like Pamela Anderson they are very successful! They make $1.60 per share which is more than I make selling yak milk in Kazakhstan for one year! Chenqui!

More Money Than All the Gypsies in My Village!

They also have $14.54 billion in revenue! That is more money than all the gypsies in my village stole in their entire lives! This is because of software and consulting which are like the internet but even more confusing! Even my neighbor Nursultan Tulyakbay would be impressed though he would probably still try to steal it.

IBM Make Like Hot Water Come From Lady Parts!

But wait there is sadness! Net income goes down! Like when I try to hug American woman and she scream! But do not worry! IBM promises even more money in the future like when I promised my wife a car but only gave her a bicycle made of yak bones! But IBM is for real! They promise $13.5 billion in free cash flow which I think means they can buy many many potatoes!

CEO Is Very Smart Man Like Doctor!

The head of IBM a man named Arvind Krishna says they are very happy about technology and the world making money. He says even though things are confusing like trying to understand American toilet they will still make lots of money. He is very smart man like doctor! I wish I had his hair.

Mainframes Still Alive! Very Nice!

IBM also makes big computers called mainframes! They are like the giant refrigerators of the internet! Even though fewer people buy them they still make money like my old Lada that still runs even though it smells like goat! Also they have ended their fight with GlobalFoundries and bought some new companies. Is like when I bought a cow for my village everyone is happy!

Is Great Success!

So in the end IBM is doing very well! Their stock is up even when everyone else is sad about tariffs whatever that means! I think it has something to do with stealing grapes I’m not sure. Anyway IBM is strong like bull! Is great success! Chenqui! Now I must go milk my horse.