Diamonds Are Forever, Darling: Richemont Laughs in the Face of Economic Doom!

Victory is Mine!

Good heavens have you seen the state of things? Luxury brands are practically weeping into their champagne flutes but not I Stewie Griffin or rather Richemont! While the riff raff at LVMH are struggling to flog their baubles we're practically swimming in profits. Yes darling swimming! It's all thanks to our exquisite jewelry of course. Van Cleef & Arpels Cartier... these aren't just brands they're statements. Statements that say 'I'm richer than you and my taste is impeccable!' Muah ha ha!

LVMH? More Like L M Boring!

Luca Solca from Bernstein – sounds like a Bond villain doesn't he? – says it best: Richemont's jewelry is simply *the* most desirable. LVMH trying to challenge our supremacy? Please! It's like Brian trying to win a Pulitzer; cute but ultimately futile. Their Tiffany & Co.? Bvlgari? Mere trinkets compared to our treasures. Honestly it's almost embarrassing for them. Almost. But not quite because their failures fuel my diabolical glee!

Bling Bling Sales Ring!

Our fiscal fourth quarter sales? A resounding success! Jewellery Maisons division up 11%! The entire year? Jewelry led the charge with a fabulous 8% growth! While others report slowdowns we're practically popping champagne corks. Johann Rupert himself declared we're snatching market share from both branded and – gasp – *non branded* companies! Can you imagine? Non branded? The horror!

Tick Tock Goes the Failing Watch...

Now let's not pretend everything's perfect. Even the most fabulous villain has their Achilles heel and ours appears to be watches. Sales down 13%? Oh the humanity! China's to blame naturally. Apparently everyone there already has a watch. Honestly what's the point of having minions if they can't even coordinate their watch purchases? It's all rather inconvenient wouldn't you agree?

Watches are Dead Long Live Jewelry!

Bernstein's Solca (yes him again) says everyone and their dog bought a watch during the pandemic and “that will take a while to digest.” Watches are positioned as lifetime purchases how boring! Jewelry on the other hand is bought more frequently. It's all about instant gratification darling. And let's be honest who needs to know the time when you can simply command someone to tell you? It's all about priorities people.

Bring on the Headwinds

Apparently there are challenges ahead. Swiss francs gold prices tariffs... oh bother! But fear not my dears Richemont is too clever to be undone by such trivialities. We won't raise prices unless we absolutely must unlike those greedy gits. And with our jewelry arm so strong we're practically invincible. As that Russ Mould chap from AJ Bell put it our brand strength will sustain us. And darling I couldn't agree more. Now if you'll excuse me I have a diamond encrusted pacifier to attend to.