Tariff Troubles! Is America Paying Too Much For My Mankini's Cousin's Underwear?

Great Success! Or Is It?

Jagshemash America! Borat here reporting live from... well I not know where I am but there are many billboards and fat people eating ice cream. I have come to investigate the 'tariffs' that everyone is talking about. It sounds like something you put on a roof but apparently it makes your clothes and shoes cost more! Very nice or maybe not.

China and Vietnam: The Land of Cheap Underwear

My friends at CNBC tell me that these tariffs they mostly affect things from China and Vietnam. These are countries where my cousin makes his famous mankini! Very stretchy very revealing. But now maybe too expensive for American to buy for sexy time. AlixPartners very serious business people say if Trump put on big tariff the price of sweater and shoes go up like rocket! Boom boom!

Sweatergate: The Cost of Warmth

Imagine! A simple cotton sweater made in China. Before it cost only $30. Now with Trump's tariffs it could cost almost $60! That is like two chickens in my village. Or half a goat! How is American supposed to afford warmth for their bodies? Maybe they must wear fur like bear. Very scratchy I think.

Shoe icide: Walking is Now a Luxury?

And shoes! From Vietnam! Nike makes many there for jogging and escaping the police. Before shoes cost $95. Now with tariffs maybe $130! That is like whole month's rent for small apartment in Kazakhstan. How can American run away from responsibility if they cannot afford shoes? Very bad for democracy!

Retailers: The Heroes of the People? Or Just Greedy?

Retailers they say they don't want to raise prices. They want to 'eat' the tariffs like big delicious plate of horse meat. But they also want to make money for their shareholders. It is very complicated like trying to understand why Pamela Anderson married Tommy Lee. Maybe they change the product or find cheaper way. But even Walmart the biggest store in world say it is difficult. They must learn from Kazakhstan where we make everything from recycled toilet paper!

Wa Wa Wee Waa! The Future is Uncertain

So what is the answer? I don't know! Maybe American must learn to live with less. Wear less clothes walk barefoot eat only potatoes. Or maybe Trump will change his mind like when he tweet something crazy and then delete it. Either way Borat will be here reporting on the madness. Chenqui! (Thank you!) High five!