Great Success! Gap Faces Tariff Troubles, But Borat Sees Opportunity for Mankini Sales!

Is Nice! Tariffs Threaten Gap's Bottom Line

Jagshemash! Borat reporting LIVE from... well not Kazakhstan this time. I am learning about capitalist pig dog problems of Gap the clothing maker. They are saying new tariffs these are like taxes but more angry could cost them much monies like $100 million to $150 million! This is more than my village makes in ten lifetimes! Shares go down like pants of tourist in Turkish bath. Very bad!

Chenqui! China No Longer Number One Exporter?

Gap says these new tariffs they are from the Great Satan President Trump. He puts them on China where Gap makes much clothes. Now Gap must find new place to make clothes. They look to Vietnam and Indonesia. But Vietnam is also in danger from Trump's mighty tariff fist. This is complicated like American toilet!

Very Nice! Gap's CEO Has Plan

Richard Dickson the CEO of Gap he is smart man like doctor who can cure my sister's... condition. He says Gap will buy more cotton from America! Make America great again like my neighbor Nursultan says about Kazakhstan! Dickson also says prices for customers will not go up. Very good! Nobody wants to pay more for jeans to impress American girls.

High Five! Gap Makes More Monies Than Expected

Despite tariff troubles Gap actually makes more monies than expected! They make $3.46 billion! This is enough to buy many tractors for my village and maybe a new wife (or two!). Old Navy like my grandfather's favorite sailing clothes and Gap brand are doing very well. But Banana Republic it is still struggling. Like trying to milk a yak in winter.

Great Success! Opportunity for Borat's Mankini!

I Borat see opportunity here! While Gap struggles with tariffs I will introduce my famous mankini to American market! It is the perfect clothing for showing off glorious chest hair and confusing the locals. Guaranteed to be a cultural learning experience! High five!

Wawaweewa! The Future of Gap

Gap expects sales to grow but not by much. Like my chances of marrying Pamela Anderson. They need to fix Athleta which is struggling. Maybe they need to make mankinis for women too? I am just spitballing here. But overall Gap is surviving the Trump tariff storm. Very nice! I give them a thumbs up like when I see beautiful woman in tractor factory.