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Showing 1 to 10 of 25 news articles

Stablecoin legislation may cause a surge in demand for U.S. Treasuries, strengthening the U.S. dollar, and potentially adding to my already vast fortune. Release the hounds! image

Excellent! Stablecoins to Make Me Even Richer Than I Am Now!

Sat 19 April, 2025 12:01
2 minutes to read

New Jersey's Attorney General slaps Discord with a lawsuit, claiming the platform hoodwinked parents and children about safety features. Is this the beginning of the end for online fun, or just another Tuesday for Monty Burns? image

Excellent! Discord Sued For Child Safety! Is My Monopoly Next?!

Thu 17 April, 2025 20:24
4 minutes to read

A satirical look at Russia's reaction to Trump's tariffs, questioning their exclusion and the potential impact on global trade. image

Are Trump's Tariffs a Russian Gambit?! You Won't Believe What Happens Next!

Thu 17 April, 2025 11:20
3 minutes to read

Old Man Burns laments the temporary demise of Spotify and ponders its impact on his vast fortune and listening pleasure. image

Spotify Apocalypse My Music Was SILENCED!

Wed 16 April, 2025 17:33
2 minutes to read

JPMorgan Chase escalates its pursuit of customers who exploited the 'infinite money glitch,' now targeting smaller sums and considering challenges to bankruptcy filings. image

Excellent JPMorgan Chase Sues Customers Over Infinite Money Glitch! Are YOU Next?

Wed 16 April, 2025 12:19
3 minutes to read

OpenAI and H & R Block are joining forces to unleash a tax-filing AI by 2026, threatening the livelihoods of tax professionals and, perhaps, enriching one Montgomery Burns. image

Are Accountants Obsolete?! OpenAI and H & R Block Plan to Steal Your Money... I Mean, Simplify Taxes!

Tue 15 April, 2025 17:29
3 minutes to read

The British oil giant BP is facing takeover speculation amidst strategic shifts and investor pressures, with Shell, ExxonMobil, and Chevron potentially interested, according to energy analysts. image

Is BP About to Say Excellent to a Takeover From Shell Exxon or Chevron?!

Tue 15 April, 2025 05:19
3 minutes to read

Montgomery Burns weighs in on Trump's tariff tweaks and their impact on oil prices, pondering whether this is good for Springfield and his vast wealth. image

Crude Awakening! Trump Saves My Bottom Line (and Maybe Yours?)

Mon 14 April, 2025 12:25
3 minutes to read

China scoffs at meager U.S. tariff exemptions, demanding complete removal of reciprocal tariffs, while U.S. Trade Representative confirms no immediate plans for Trump-Xi talks. A fiddlesticks of affairs! image

Bah Humbug! China Demands I Abolish MY Tariffs?!

Sun 13 April, 2025 16:24
2 minutes to read

A curmudgeonly old billionaire laments the market's instability due to presidential pronouncements and ponders if streaming services will affect his bottom line. Excellent. image

Bah Humbug! Will Trump's Tweets and Netflix Binge Ruin My Portfolio?!

Fri 11 April, 2025 22:56
3 minutes to read