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Showing 101 to 110 of 134 news articles

Disgraced ex-congressman George Santos awaits sentencing for fraud, theft, and general tomfoolery, leaving Mr. Burns to ponder the state of modern politics. image

Release the Hounds! Santos Faces the Music for His Fiscal Follies

Fri 25 April, 2025 14:07
2 minutes to read

Burns analyses Alphabet's Q1 triumph, musing on AI, cloud dominance, and those pesky 'Other Bets'. image

Excellent! Alphabet's Profits Soar, Smithers, Ready the Corporate Jet!

Thu 24 April, 2025 21:44
2 minutes to read

Mr. Burns dissects the recent surge in durable goods orders ahead of potential tariffs, offering his unique perspective on the economy, labor, and the future of Springfield. image

Excellent! Durable Goods Soar as Trump's Tariffs Loom, Smithers!

Thu 24 April, 2025 13:05
2 minutes to read

U.S. Congressional committee launches investigation into Chinese telecom giants over potential data theft and cybersecurity risks, threatening subpoenas if they don't cooperate. image

Bah! Chinese Telecoms Think They Can Steal Our Data!?

Thu 24 April, 2025 03:34
2 minutes to read

Elon Musk attempts to rally investors after a dismal earnings report, touting robotaxis and humanoid robots while Springfield's own Mr. Burns scoffs at the electric car folly. image

Bah Humbug Tesla Stock Soars Despite Disastrous Earnings! What's Musk Up To?!

Wed 23 April, 2025 16:15
3 minutes to read

SAP's Q1 profits skyrocket by 58%, defying economic uncertainty and making the executives richer than Monty Burns! image

Excellent! SAP Profits Soar While the Rest of You Toil in Misery! Are You Surprised?

Wed 23 April, 2025 09:33
2 minutes to read

JPMorgan warns of high unpredictability for AI cloud company CoreWeave, citing customer concentration and economic volatility, but some analysts see significant upside potential. image

CoreWeave Stock A Wild Ride! Are You Brave Enough For This AI Gamble?!

Tue 22 April, 2025 18:17
3 minutes to read

Montgomery Burns reports on new tariffs levied against Southeast Asian solar cell imports, protecting American solar manufacturers (and possibly my vast energy empire). image

Excellent! Chinese Solar Companies Face My Wrath! Are They Stealing My Sun Power?!

Tue 22 April, 2025 01:54
2 minutes to read

Montgomery Burns analyzes Amazon's downgraded stock, citing tariffs and investment risks, and sees an opportunity for Springfield Power Plant domination. image

Amazon Stock Doomed Wall Street Duped D OH!

Mon 21 April, 2025 11:10
3 minutes to read

Stablecoin legislation may cause a surge in demand for U.S. Treasuries, strengthening the U.S. dollar, and potentially adding to my already vast fortune. Release the hounds! image

Excellent! Stablecoins to Make Me Even Richer Than I Am Now!

Sat 19 April, 2025 12:01
2 minutes to read