Excellent! SAP Profits Soar While the Rest of You Toil in Misery! Are You Surprised?

A Profit Explosion? Excellent!

Bah! Another quarter another mountain of money for yours truly... I mean for SAP! Ahem. This so called 'German software giant' (ahem that's me indirectly benefiting!) has apparently seen its operating profit jump a whopping 58%! Year on year mind you! These numbers... they sing to my very soul. As Burns once said to Smithers: Smithers I'm beginning to think that woman is not as unattractive as you led me to believe!

Cloud Cuckoo Land... of Profit!

This 'cloud' business... it sounds like something those hippies at the power plant would dream up. But apparently it's raking in the dough. Backlog up 29%! Revenue soaring to 9 billion euros! It's all rather... intoxicating. It is like that time I had that 12 inch donut... and then I ate the hole!

Tariffs? Pshaw! More Like Opportunities!

This 'Trump' fellow and his tariffs... Normally I'd be furious! Interfering with perfectly good monopolies! But apparently it's driving business our way! Companies are scrambling for solutions and SAP is there to... 'help'. Yes that's it. We're 'helping'. Helping ourselves to their money that is! As I always say 'I want to share my dreams with you. My dream of world domination!' through software of course.

Predictability? I Demand It!

This 'CEO Klein' fellow keeps droning on about 'predictability'. As if anything in this world is truly predictable! Except of course my own brilliance. But I must admit 86% recurring revenue sounds delightful. It's almost as predictable as Smithers' unwavering loyalty. I’ll keep him around for another week.

Resilience? A Buzzword I Can Get Behind!

Analysts are singing our praises calling us 'resilient'. 'A masterclass in resilience'! They expect us to 'weather any downturn'. Frankly I expect nothing less. We are like that time I went to Shelbyville to replace their electricity company. They could not stop me!

To the Future! With More Money!

So what does all this mean? More money! More power! And perhaps just perhaps enough capital to finally defeat those blasted Simpsons! They have caused me no end to agony and pain! I also have some great news! I will be making cutbacks to the nuclear plant! Less cost and MORE PROFIT!