Release the Hounds! On Chinese Solar Shenanigans
Bah! It seems these… *Chinese* companies have been undercutting honest American businesses in the solar cell market. Mark my words Smithers this is precisely the sort of tomfoolery that led to the Great Depression! They're flooding the market with these… *cheap* goods. As if the sun itself bows to their commands! This simply will not do. I've instructed my lawyers—a far superior lot than Lionel Hutz I assure you—to ensure these tariffs are as crippling as possible.
A Tariff? Excellent!
These American manufacturers bless their greedy little hearts have taken action! Apparently these solar panels were priced below the cost of production. Below cost! It's outrageous! They're practically giving away free energy! This undermines my entire business model. What's next free power for everyone? Preposterous! Luckily the United States is taking action and I Montgomery Burns am fully supportive. After all who wants to pay for my lavish lifestyle if everyone has free solar power?
Numbers Numbers Everywhere!
The tariffs are… varied. Numbers numbers everywhere! One company faces a measly 41.56% tariff. Utterly insufficient! Another faces a whopping 375.19%! Now *that's* more like it! And those uncooperative blaggards from Cambodia? A 3,500% tariff! Good riddance I say! Serves them right for thinking they can outsmart a man who's older than sliced bread.
A Shift in the Winds or Just a Favorable Breeze for Burns?
According to some… *expert*… this has caused a 'dramatic shift' in the global solar trade. Excellent! Perhaps now I can corner the market on sunlight and sell it back to the public at a premium. Imagine it Smithers! 'Burns Energy: We Own the Sun!' The possibilities are endless!
Critics? More Like Crickets!
Of course there are always naysayers. Some group called the 'Solar Energy Industries Association' claims tariffs will raise prices. As if that's a bad thing! Higher prices mean more profit you simpletons! Besides a little healthy competition never hurt anyone… except of course my competitors. But they deserve it. Losers!
The Inevitable Red Tape (and My Looming Triumph)
There's still some bureaucratic nonsense to wade through. Some 'International Trade Commission' has to decide if these imports caused 'material harm.' As if bankrupting honest American companies isn't harmful enough! But fear not my friends I have ways of… influencing… these decisions. Let's just say they'll be seeing the light… the *Burns* light! Muhahaha!
solar tariffs trade war China Southeast Asia renewable energy US manufacturing Montgomery Burns energy independence solar panels unfair trade
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Shaman
They're ruining everything!
levelovybrian2
Release the hounds!
DEON35
Send them to the workhouse!
tfhadley
This gives me an idea for a new business venture...
duchess48
Excellent...
robdog
Bah! Humbug!
kem4you
Are they on the swivel, Smithers?