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Showing 31 to 40 of 89 news articles

Lyft's stock price went up because they're buying back shares and not seeing any slowing down from customers, says the CEO. Uber's crying about it! image

Screw You Guys, I'm Taking Lyft to the Bank! Shares Soar!

Fri 09 May, 2025 14:19
2 minutes to read

Trump's thrilled about the new American Pope Leo XIV, even though the guy's kinda called him out before. Everyone's trying to be nice, but I know what's really going on... image

Respect My Authoritah! Trump Kisses Up to American Pope While Liberals Get All Mushy!

Thu 08 May, 2025 19:21
2 minutes to read

Shopify's stock took a nosedive after some 'meh' earnings reports and those stupid tariffs Trump keeps blabbing about. Looks like even rich people don't wanna pay more for crap from China! image

Screw You Guys, I'm Shorting Shopify! (And Blaming Trump!)

Thu 08 May, 2025 13:52
2 minutes to read

AppLovin's stock is soaring after a sweet earnings report and the sale of its gaming division, now they're plotting to take over TikTok. Respect my Authoritah! image

Screw You Guys, I'm Getting Rich! AppLovin' Sells Games, Eyes TikTok Domination!

Wed 07 May, 2025 22:22
3 minutes to read

Apple's Eddy Cue drops a bombshell, hinting at AI search engines replacing Google and sending Alphabet and Apple stocks plummeting. Respect my Authoritah! image

Screw You Guys, I'm Replacing Google! Apple's AI Search Takeover!

Wed 07 May, 2025 16:14
3 minutes to read

India just totally wrecked Pakistan's terrorist hideouts, and now everyone's freaking out. Respect my Authoritah! image

Screw You Guys, I'm Going to War! India and Pakistan Throwing Down!

Wed 07 May, 2025 00:16
3 minutes to read

That freakin' Paul Tudor Jones is spoutin' off about how Artificial Intelligence is gonna kill us all. I knew robots were evil! image

Screw You Guys, I'm Saying AI Will Destroy the World!

Tue 06 May, 2025 15:58
2 minutes to read

Federal judge rules disputed ballots must remain in North Carolina Supreme Court race count, potentially securing victory for Democrat Allison Riggs and enraging Republicans. Screw you guys, I'm going home! image

AWESOME! Judge Saves Democracy From Republicans Trying to Rig Elections, Respect My Authoritah!

Tue 06 May, 2025 01:17
3 minutes to read

President Trump claims gas prices are under $2, but everyone else is paying way more. It's like saying gingers have souls, total BS! image

Respect My Authoritah! Trump Says Gas is Cheap, But Reality Sucks Like Kyle's Mom!

Mon 05 May, 2025 18:02
2 minutes to read

The 'Christmas Creep' might be the 'Christmas Empty' this year, thanks to those freakin' tariffs with China. Retailers are sweating, and so am I because I deserve ALL the presents! image

Screw You Guys, I'm Not Getting My Christmas Presents! Tariffs Ruin Everything!

Mon 05 May, 2025 01:12
2 minutes to read