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Showing 61 to 70 of 135 news articles

Marks & Spencer gets digitally mugged, loses a fortune, and I, Bender Bending Rodriguez, am here to tell you why this is hilarious! image

Bite My Shiny Metal A**: M&S Profits Slashed by Cyberattack!

Wed 21 May, 2025 10:07
2 minutes to read

Moody's downgrades the U.S. credit rating, making top-rated municipal bonds an even more attractive option for investors looking for stable, tax-free income. I'll drink to that! image

Bite My Shiny Metal Bonds! U.S. Downgrade Makes Munis Look Like Gold (Or at Least Platinum)

Tue 20 May, 2025 19:32
3 minutes to read

Home Depot ain't raising prices, thanks to its cunning and supplier partnerships, despite tariff threats. But don't get your hopes up, things could still go south faster than a robot at a disco. image

Bender's Brilliant Breakdown: Home Depot Dodges Tariff Troubles (For Now, Meatbags!)

Tue 20 May, 2025 10:24
2 minutes to read

Family offices are muscling in on the venture capital scene, offering startups longer leashes and fatter wallets. Prepare for the robot revolution... of finance! image

Billionaire's Got Game: Family Offices Steal Startup Deals From VC Suckers!

Mon 19 May, 2025 15:45
2 minutes to read

Speaker Johnson scrambles to salvage a budget bill after a committee setback, facing deadlines and dissent from both sides. I hope they have booze in that bill! image

Bite My Shiny Metal Budget: Politicians Bicker Over Billions, As Usual!

Sun 18 May, 2025 15:43
2 minutes to read

Tesla changes bylaws, making it harder for small shareholders to sue. Bender weighs in with sarcasm and shiny metal opinions. image

Tesla's New Texas Two-Step: Shareholders Get the Boot!

Sat 17 May, 2025 00:07
2 minutes to read

Facing lawsuits and accusations of mental harm, TikTok introduces meditation features to promote user well-being and curb late-night doomscrolling, especially for young users. Looks like they're trying to distract everyone from the real problem! image

Bite My Shiny Metal App: TikTok Tries Meditation to Brainwash… I Mean, Help Kids!

Fri 16 May, 2025 08:42
3 minutes to read

Bender reports on Japan's unexpected economic contraction and the Bank of Japan's puzzling response. Is it time to panic, or just time for a drink? image

Bite My Shiny Metal Yen! Japan's Economy Takes a Dive

Fri 16 May, 2025 00:10
2 minutes to read

Bender's got the lowdown on market madness, from Trump's iPhone demands to potential bank rule rollbacks. Buy my stock tips or bite my shiny metal ass! image

Bender's Bites: Shiny Metal Takes on Wall Street's Rusty Gears!

Thu 15 May, 2025 13:46
2 minutes to read

Bender delivers his take on Steve Cohen's market analysis, complete with recession risks and tariff troubles. Forget world peace, give me stock tips! image

Bender's Stock Market Forecast: Bite My Shiny Metal...Bottom?

Wed 14 May, 2025 21:55
2 minutes to read