One Point Four TRILLION Dollars! Why Aren't We Reporting Rent Payments?!

One Point Four *Trillion* Dollars!

People people people! We have a *serious* problem here! It seems that a whopping $1.4 TRILLION – that's 'T' as in 'terrible' – dollars are being paid to landlords every year in America! And guess what? Only 20% of those landlords are reporting the rent payments! This is outrageous! Utterly outrageous! I mean come on! That's like having a laser beam and not using it to hold the world ransom! And as you all know I like things that are oooooooo outrageous!

Credit Scores: The Key to My... I Mean *Our* Financial Freedom

Now you might be thinking 'Dr. Evil why do you care about credit scores? You're trying to take over the world!' And that's a fair point. But even *I* need a good credit score to uh 'finance my lair improvements.' Yes lair improvements! So apparently reporting rent payments can *boost* credit scores. Who knew? Not reporting it leads to something called 'credit invisibility'! Sounds like a superpower but it's actually a *disaster*! No credit history means no loans no cars no houses... and definitely no giant frickin' laser beams! It also allows regular people to be able to better afford things...and we can't have that can we? How else will I be able to extort them of all their money muhahahahaha!!!

50 Million 'Credit Invisible' Americans! Seriously?!

Over *50 million* Americans are 'credit invisible'! That's more than the population of several small countries I plan to dominate! Wemimo Abbey the CEO of Esusu – sounds like a sneeze doesn't it? – says we're leaving $5.3 trillion on the table! I agree but I'd rather have that money in *my* offshore account funding my diabolical schemes! Apparently Esusu is trying to fix this by partnering with rental companies and even letting renters report payments directly. Good for them I guess? But honestly where's the evil in that?!

Credit Invisibility: Not a Cool Superpower

So 'credit invisibility' isn't some cool superpower like Austin Powers' mojo. It's actually a real problem. It means lenders are hesitant to give you money or they charge you ridiculous interest rates! I mean *I* charge ridiculous rates when I hold the world ransom but that's different! This financial inequity hits minorities and immigrants the hardest! These poor people have no money to begin with and it seems the rest of the world is trying to keep them that way...well that will not do...unless I can use them to my advantage and turn them into...MINIONS!!! Muhahahahaha!

Esusu: More Like... Ee Snooze U?

These Esusu guys – Abbey and Samir Goel – started their company because their families struggled financially as immigrants. Awwww how touching. But frankly I'm not interested in heartwarming stories! I want laser beams and sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! They've managed to establish credit scores for 250,000 Americans and are now valued at $1 billion. A billion dollars! I demand ONE HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS! And if I don't get it I will unleash... THE CREDIT BUREAU APOCALYPSE! Mwahahaha!

The Rent Is Too Damn High... And Unreported!

Rent is a huge expense for most Americans and 90% of renters pay on time! But because it's not reported it's like it never happened! Landlords can report or renters can use services like Esusu for a small fee. But here's the catch: you gotta pay on time! No slacking! And if you can't pay your rent? Well maybe you should try robbing a bank. Just kidding! (Don't do that. Unless you're working for *me* of course.) There are other ways to build credit like becoming an authorized user or getting a secured credit card. But frankly I prefer to build my empire through more... *direct* methods. Like threatening to destroy the moon... again!