Mortgage Rates Stuck in a Rut, and I'm Blaming Austin Powers!

One Million Dollars... For a Mortgage Rate Shift?

Listen up people! Doctor Evil here reporting live from my volcano lair. I've been trying to destabilize the global economy you know for kicks but even *I'm* surprised that my machinations aren't moving mortgage rates more! Economic uncertainty at home military conflicts abroad… each alone should send the bond market into a tizzy! But nooooo they're just… puttering along. It’s like trying to stir a bowl of soup with a Q Tip! It’s infuriating! Seriously I could ask for ONE MILLION DOLLARS and it would cause more of a stir!

6.88%? Shyeah Right!

Last week the average contract interest rate for 30 year fixed rate mortgages with conforming loan balances (whatever *that* means) went up to 6.88% from 6.84%. A whole 0.04%?! That's like trying to scare someone with a kitten! Joel Kan some guy at the Mortgage Bankers Association (MBA) mumbled something about the Middle East and the 'FOMC meeting' and 'Treasury rates.' Blah blah blah! The point is rates are STUCK! They've been bouncing around like a yoyo in a toilet bowl and are just around and below 7% since early April. I tell ya that's even lower than my self esteem after a verbal sparring match with Austin Powers!

Overinflated Prices? Not on My Planet!

This whole situation is leaving potential homebuyers as deflated as my plans after Austin Powers inevitably foils them. They're facing overinflated house prices and a low supply of options. It's like being offered a choice between a shark infested pool and a room full of hungry kittens. Neither is appealing. And they can't even just go and buy their own private island because the banks are acting like they've never seen the ocean before. I mean come on throw them a bone!

Shrinking Loans? That's Unacceptable!

Applications for a mortgage to buy a home dropped 0.4% last week. A measly 0.4%? UNACCEPTABLE! The average loan size for purchase applications declined to $436,300 the lowest level since January 2025 because of the decrease in the size of conventional purchase loan. Do they even know who I am? I once demanded a ransom of ONE HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS!!! And I will have it. Or I will settle for less.

Refinancing: A Glimmer of Hope... Maybe.

On the bright side (and I use that term loosely as I prefer the comforting darkness of my lair) applications to refinance a home loan rose 3% for the week. But hold your horses people. That's likely because the average rate last year was only slightly higher. The real takeaway here is that volumes are so low that even small changes make for big percentage moves. It's like celebrating a victory against a toddler – technically a win but not exactly worthy of champagne and caviar. Especially my Beluga Caviar which according to Mini Me smells like gasoline.

Austin Powers This is ALL Your Fault!

So who's to blame for this mortgage market malaise? I'm going to go with… Austin Powers! Yes! His relentless good vibes are somehow interfering with my ability to create economic chaos! It's the only logical explanation! I need sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads STAT! And maybe just maybe a slightly larger evil scheme. Perhaps something involving the moon? Yes... the moon! Mwahahaha!