Trump's 'Big, Beautiful' Tax Bill: A Diaper Full of Fiscal Follies?

Oh Joy! Another Bill from Those Imbeciles

Good heavens has it really come to this? Yet another tax bill waltzes its way through the House Rules Committee and I must feign interest. Twenty one hours of debate? Honestly I've spent less time plotting world domination. Apparently the House Rules Committee advanced President Trump's "big beautiful" tax bill late Wednesday because who needs sleep when there's legislation to be passed and empires to build? And a final vote early Thursday morning? Do these people even nap? It was an 8 4 vote. Eight! The number of times Brian's chased his tail today. This victory for Republican leaders who had spent the day making last minute changes to the more than 1,000 page bill in an effort to win over both moderates and hardline conservatives. Honestly can't they just decide on something? It feels like when Peter tries to order food and keeps changing his mind! Giggity!

Memorial Day Mayhem and Republican Rifts

Speaker Mike Johnson bless his cotton socks has set a Memorial Day deadline for passing this...thing. No Democrats are expected to join Republicans in voting for it. Of course not. It wouldn't be Washington if everyone agreed on something would it? That's like expecting Brian to suddenly develop a taste for opera. A notable conservative holdout Rep. Chip Roy R Texas decided to be a rebel without a cause and didn't cast a vote in the Rules Committee. Typical. There's always one isn't there? It's like when I try to explain quantum physics to Brian—someone's bound to throw a wrench in the works.

Desperate Measures and White House Whispers

Johnson's narrow Republican majority means that the speaker can only lose a handful of votes from his conference and still pass the bill on a straight party line vote. Roy and House Freedom Caucus chair Andy Harris R Md. were among the members who met with Trump at the White House Wednesday afternoon in a hastily arranged effort to convince fiscal hawks to set aside their objections and back the deficit exploding package of tax cuts. Deficit exploding? Oh goodie. More for me to fix when I finally take over the world. White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt later said the "meeting was productive and moved the ball in the right direction." "The president reiterated how critical it is for the country to pass the One Big Beautiful Bill as quickly as possible," she said in a statement. Oh please. Productive? I highly doubt that. The only thing those meetings are productive at is generating hot air.

Markets in Meltdown? Don't Blame Me!

Meanwhile markets tumbled Wednesday on concerns that Trump's spending bill would pass and lead to exploding federal deficits and weaker long term fiscal health for the nation. The yield on the 30 year Treasury bond yield hit 5.09%. Honestly you'd think they'd never seen a bit of chaos before. It's hardly the apocalypse! Unless...maybe I should invest in canned goods. Just in case. Always have a plan B.

Amendments and Afterthoughts: A Patchwork Quilt of Policies

The final version of the bill that passed out of the Rules Committee Wednesday contained a 42 page set of amendments designed to give each of the competing factions within the party a small victory. A timeline for imposing work requirements for Medicaid recipients was moved up by two years to the end of 2026 — a victory for conservatives. But the amendments also contained a four fold increase in the so called SALT deduction cap from a maximum of $10,000 in deductible state and local taxes to $40,000 for taxpayers reporting less than $500,000 in income. State and local taxes? Do they think I care about those? I'll be running the world on Stewie Bucks soon enough.

The Rich Get Richer the Poor Get...Well You Know

The broader bill seeks to deliver on Trump's key campaign promises and includes provisions to make permanent Trump's 2017 tax cuts and eliminate taxes on tips. A new analysis from the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office estimates "that in general resources would decrease for households in the lowest decile (tenth) of the income distribution whereas resources would increase for households in the highest decile." Oh how delightful. So the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. It's like a twisted episode of Downton Abbey only with more screaming and less elegance. If the bill passes the full House it still faces a complicated path through the Senate. The upper chamber will consider the legislation under a set of rules called budget reconciliation which requires only a simple majority instead of the typical 60 votes required to move bills through the Senate. Nonetheless several Republican senators have already said they will require significant changes to the bill before agreeing to vote for it. So much for simplicity. This is a developing story. Please check back for updates. As if I have nothing better to do!