Trump's Tariff Tango: Deadline? Doh! More Like a Maybe-Line!

Homer Simpson

Thu 26 June, 2025 19:43
2 minutes to read

Looks like the tariffs are playing a game of Twister with Trump, bending and stretching all over the place! Mmm, tariffs.

Deadline? More Like a Guideline!

Hey hey it's your pal Homer here reporting live from my couch! So apparently this Trump guy and I quote from that Leavitt lady says those big bad tariff deadlines are "not critical." Not critical? What's more important than donuts I mean deadlines? Doh! She even hinted he might push 'em back. Sounds like me when Marge asks if I've mowed the lawn... eventually!

Trade Deals? Take My Country Please!

This Leavitt broad also mentioned Trump might just give countries a deal if they don't hurry up and trade nice. Like here’s the deal take it or leave it! He’ll pick a tariff rate he likes says it’s good for America and the workers. If that means more money for Duff Beer I'm all in! Woohoo!

Stocks Go Up! Mmm Stocks...

The article says stocks went up when this tariff talk was going on. Now I love stock... in the fridge that is. Marge says I should invest but I’d rather invest in a lifetime supply of pork chops. Maybe I'll tell Mr. Burns to invest in pork chops instead of stocks.

Reciprocal What Now?

Apparently Trump slapped some “reciprocal tariffs” on everyone back in April. Sounded painful! Then he gave everyone a 90 day timeout on tariffs over 10%. That's like me giving myself a 90 day timeout from donuts... lasted about 90 seconds! Now that timeout is almost up. Ay caramba!

Europe's Got Problems Too!

Even those fancy Europeans are getting the tariff treatment! Trump threatened a 50% tariff on them but then backed down 'til July 9th. This Ursula lady needed more time to make a 'good deal.' I need more time to finish this box of donuts but nobody’s giving me a break! It's not fair!

Deals Deals Everywhere But Not a Pact to Drink!

They were talking about making 90 trade deals in 90 days! They only made deals with China and the UK and they’re not even real deals! And they were supposed to make a deal with India but it never materialized! This is worse than when Krusty promised a free Krusty Burger with every purchase then said he was out of burgers!