IRS About to Shrink Faster Than My Brain on a Sunday Morning!?

D'oh! IRS Gets a Lot Smaller

Woohoo! I heard that around 20,000 IRS worker bees are saying 'so long suckers!' to their jobs. That's like a whole Springfield's worth of people! Apparently they're jumping ship because of some buyout thingy from the Trump administration. Makes you wonder if they finally realized doing taxes is harder than understanding Marge's hair. Doh! If they all bail the IRS could shrink faster than my chances of winning the lottery after buying a scratcher at the Kwik E Mart.

Paid to Watch TV? Don't Mind If I Do!

These lucky ducks get to go on PAID LEAVE through September! Paid leave? That's like getting paid to watch TV and eat donuts! Where do I sign up?! I mean sure they gotta file some papers or something but it beats chasing after Maggie all day... or worse Flanders! The real question is will they use their newfound free time to finally understand the tax code? Highly doubtful. More like binge watching 'Itchy & Scratchy,' am I right?

40 Percent?! That's a Lotta Zeros!

Wait a minute! Rumor has it that the IRS might lose up to 40% of its workforce! 40%! That's almost half! That's like losing half a donut! Now I don't know much about fancy government numbers but that sounds like a 'crisis,' as Mayor Quimby would say after accidentally releasing all the pigeons from the Springfield Bird Sanctuary. Uh oh spaghetti o's!

Blame Game Time! Trump vs. Biden!

The Treasury Department is saying it's all about Trump rolling back Biden's hires like some kind of bureaucratic seesaw. They're all like 'We're making things more efficient!' But I bet they still can't figure out how to make my tax refund bigger. Efficiency my gluteus maximus! It's just another excuse for politicians to argue while I'm stuck doing my taxes. Mmm political rhetoric.

Shrinking the Government? Sounds Fishy...

So Trump wanted to shrink the government faster than Lisa's science fair projects fail? He thought about 10% of folks would take the buyout... Looks like he underestimated how much people hate doing taxes! Maybe I should offer Mr. Burns a buyout to leave the power plant... Mmm early retirement.

No More Taxes? Wishful Thinking!

Look I'm no brainiac – I know that. But if fewer people are working at the IRS does that mean fewer people will be chasing after my hard earned (and sometimes questionable) income? Probably not. But a guy can dream right? Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go hide my spare change under the floorboards. In conclusion I have nothing to say!