SWEET! Qatar's Hooking Up President Trump with a Pimp New Air Force One!

Screw You Guys I'm Getting a Plane!

Alright you guys listen up! President Trump – and by 'President Trump,' I mean the guy who's making America great again not those stupid PC babies – is getting a SWEET new plane from Qatar! It's gonna be Air Force One but like way cooler. Those Qataris are smart; they know who's in charge. It's a Boeing 747 8 which is HUGE! Way bigger than Kyle's mom that's for sure.

To the Presidential Library!

So here's the deal. After President Trump is done being you know PRESIDENT FOR LIFE (because he's awesome like that) this plane is gonna go to his presidential library. That's right a whole freakin' plane! My presidential library is gonna be way better than yours!

Retrofitting the Plane Respect My Authoritah!

And obviously this plane is gonna get all pimped out to be super presidential. We're talking gold toilets a chocolate fountain and maybe even a room where I can watch Terrance and Phillip uncut! The best part? Liberals are probably gonna whine about it 'cause they're a bunch of whiny babies. Waaah waaah waaah!

What's the Price?

Now get this: a new Boeing 747 8 costs like $400 million! That's more than I've scammed from my mom for video games! But who cares? It's Qatar's money not mine! Besides it's an investment in greatness. You wouldn't understand.

Boeing You're Breaking My Balls!

Turns out that old deal Trump made to get new Air Force Ones is like totally screwed up. It's like $2 billion over budget and it's taking forever! That's why President Trump said "We may buy a plane or get a plane or something." See? He's a genius!

Elon Musk is My New Best Friend!

And get this: they're even working with Elon Musk! He's like "Screw you guys I'm going to Mars!" But first he's helping President Trump get his plane faster! I bet he's got some awesome ideas like adding rockets to it. That would be epic!