Dude! Trump Totally Screwed This Guy Over Big Time! Respect My Authoritah!

What What What?!

Oh my god you guys! I just heard about this and it's totally messed up. So like the Trump administration—and I'm not saying anything bad about Trump but come on!—they accidentally deported some dude to El Salvador. El Salvador! What in the name of Raisins is going on? It's like when Cartmanland was taken away from me but even worse!

A Terrorism Confinement Center?!

And get this he's not just chilling at some resort. He's stuck in a freakin' Terrorism Confinement Center! Seriously? It's like sending Butters to Imaginationland... except way more terrifying. I bet he's wishing he could just respect my authoritah and magically get back here. Poor bastard probably thinks he's being probed by aliens.

The Government Is Playing Dumb You Guys

So this judge lady Judge Xinis is all like "Where is he?" And the government's all "Uh... he's in El Salvador?" No freakin' duh! She's trying to figure out what they're doing to get him back and they're just shrugging. It's like when I pretend I don't know who ate all the KFC even though my face is covered in it.

Alive and Secure? More Like Screwed!

This Kozak dude from the State Department says he's "alive and secure." Yeah secure in a TERRORISM CONFINEMENT CENTER! That's not secure that's like being trapped in Casa Bonita with no way out and nothing to eat but sopapillas. Talk about a fate worse than death!

Respect My Authoritah! (And This Guy's Rights)

Seriously these guys need to get their act together. It's not cool to just deport someone to a foreign country and then act like it's no big deal. It's like when Kyle won't let me play with his toys except on a global scale. They need to respect this dude's authoritah and his rights and bring him back here now!

Screw You Guys I'm Going Home (And He Should Too!)

So yeah that's the story. Trump and his buddies screwed up some poor guy's stuck in a scary prison and the government's acting like they're clueless. Screw you guys I'm going home... and hopefully this Abrego Garcia guy gets to go home too! He needs to get the hell outta El Salvador ASAP it's a fate worse than being probed by Aliens!