Trump's Reciprocal Tariffs! Are We Headed for Another Ice Age?

One Million Dollars... of Tariffs!

Oh behave! It is I Doctor Evil here to analyze this... *situation* with these so called 'reciprocal tariffs.' President Trump says he's targeting *all* countries! ALL! Can you imagine? It's like trying to hold the world ransom for... ONE MILLION DOLLARS! Except instead of dollars it's tariffs. And instead of one million it's probably like a trillion. Details details! My plan to hold the world for ransom to one million dollars was much better!

The 'Dirty Fifteen'? Sounds Like My Poker Night!

Apparently the 'Dirty 15' are the countries to blame according to some of Trump's advisors. The 'Dirty 15' huh? Sounds like my regular poker night! Except instead of trade imbalances we're talking about severe violations of poker etiquette. I once had to fire Number 3 for stacking the deck. He was good mind you but honesty is the best policy... except when you're trying to take over the world of course. Then dishonesty is *highly* encouraged.

Stagflation Shmagflation! It's All About the Lasers!

Economists are throwing around words like 'stagflation.' Honestly it sounds like something you'd find in a bad sci fi movie. But don't worry folks I'm sure its not as bad as the time when I accidentally froze time for myself during my last plan only to be woken up 30 years later by Austin Powers! Honestly what are the odds? If I had focused on lasers that shot dollar bills the world would be mine already!

A Beautiful Thing to Watch? Or a Fiendish Plot?

Trump calls this economic 'transformation' a 'beautiful thing to watch!' Beautiful? I find world domination a beautiful thing to watch! Perhaps this is all part of his master plan... or maybe he just likes watching the stock market do the Macarena. You just never know what his plans are... but one thing is for sure the world may be doomed!

Truth Social? More Like Truth... Unsocial!

And of course this news comes to us via Truth Social. Honestly! Social media? Back in my day we took over the world using carrier pigeons and Morse code! Maybe I should have used Truth Social. After all that Austin Powers sure loved to use his car and talk about his mojo when he defeated me...

Stay Tuned! The Doom is Developing!

So stay tuned my minions! Will these tariffs plunge the world into economic chaos? Will Trump reveal himself to be a secret supervillain? Only time will tell! But one thing's for sure: I Doctor Evil will be watching... with my laser trained and my pinky extended just in case I need to blame Mr. Bigglesworth again! Mwahahaha! Now where is Mini Me!