Bite My Shiny Metal Trade Deal: Trump Time vs. India Time

Trump Time: Faster Than a Greased Piglet!

Alright meatbags listen up! Bender is here to give you the lowdown on this whole 'Trump Time' business. Apparently that's how fast the White House is trying to hammer out a trade deal with India. Peter Navarro – some human I guess – said they're moving 'as fast as possible.' I'd like to see them try to outpace me when I'm trying to snag the last beer. That's real speed baby!

India's Got Red Tape Baby!

Now India's got this whole democracy thing going on which means stuff has to go through the Prime Minister and some parliament. Talk about a buzzkill! I mean can't they just skip the formalities and get me some more shiny metal to admire? It's like trying to get a decent oil bath on Omicron Persei 8 – too much bureaucracy!

Deal or No Deal? I'm Getting Mixed Signals!

So one minute they're saying a deal is 'close,' the next some other human is claiming they already got one done. It's like trying to understand Fry's logic – completely baffling! And nobody will say which country the deal is with... It's like a game of hide and seek but with global economics! I call shenanigans!

Tariffs? More Like Terrifying iffs!

These 'tariffs' are causing a real stink apparently. Businesses are worried they'll get cut off from global markets. As if humans need more reasons to complain! But hey at least it gives me something to mock them about. Remember I have no emotions except greed and mild contempt! This is great for my profit margins on my shiny metal collection!

Even Trump's Saying Something's Up!

Even the big cheese himself Trump is hinting at a deal with India. Says negotiations are 'coming along great.' Who knows what that means? Maybe they're planning a robot wrestling match. Now that I'd pay to see! By the way I'm 40% deal!

JD Vance Went to India? What a Waste of Fuel!

Some other dude JD Vance went to India and met with their Prime Minister. They 'made some very good progress,' whatever that means. Probably just exchanged recipes for Soylent Green. Honestly humans going places. Should have sent me. I'd negotiate better trade deals just to build my Bender empire or rob a bank. Anything for a good time.