Bite My Shiny Metal Ass! Trump Sends in the National Guard to Tame Those Pesky Protesters!

Orange Man Sends in the Clamps!

Alright meatbags gather 'round! Seems our old pal the ex Prez decided LA needed a little… *ahem*… 'freedom' courtesy of 2,000 National Guard members. Apparently those immigration protests got a little too spicy for his taste. They're saying protestors were giving ICE a hard time! I for one respect anyone who stands up to authority especially if it involves throwing rocks. It’s all very provocative… gets the people going!

Clash of the Titans: Trump vs. Newsom!

Newsom bless his little governor heart is not thrilled. He called Trump's move 'purposefully inflammatory.' I say what isn't inflammatory these days? You think *I* wasn't inflammatory when I joined that robot uprising? Good times good times. At least Newsom thinks LA can handle its own problems. But does he have a bending unit? I think not! And the White House is saying that violence equals rebellion which is if you ask me and you didn't the right attitude to have!

Marines?! Oh Behave!

Hold onto your oil cans folks! If things get REALLY hairy they might unleash the Marines from Camp Pendleton! Marines National Guard… what's next the Girl Scouts? I’d pay to see that frankly. Makes me want to join the army but I'm too lazy for that. Now if they promised me free booze and cigars that's another story… plus I look great in uniform!

Trump Tweets Before Troops Even Arrive? Classic!

The guy's already patting himself on the back before the National Guard even set foot in LA! Talk about jumping the gun. He’s like me after a Bender Bending Rodríguez Film Festival: all talk and no action… mostly. He says if Newsom and the LA Mayor can't handle the situation the Feds will step in. Solve the problem riots and looters the way it should be solved! Well that's one way to solve problems I guess! But let's be honest he's probably just bored and wants to see some action. Reminds me of the time I wanted to be a folk singer. It didn't end well.

Insurrectionists You Say?

VP Vance is calling protestors 'insurrectionists!' Oh give me a break. I’ve seen more insurrection at a Miss Universe pageant. Also a labor leader got arrested for allegedly obstructing federal officers. Sounds like someone needs a vacation. Maybe they should come work for Planet Express. It's not like we're saving the world or anything.

Bender's Takeaway: More Chaos More Fun!

Honestly this whole situation sounds like a massive headache for everyone involved. Except for me. I live for this stuff! As long as they keep the beer flowing and the cameras rolling I'm all for watching the world burn. Remember kids: bite my shiny metal ass and don't forget to recycle! It's good for the environment and who knows? Maybe you'll find some spare parts to build your own Bender.