Kennedy's Vaccine Gambit: Is This The End, Or Just Austin Powers Stuck In The Mud?

One Million Dollars! Wait Wrong Plan...

Oh behaaaave! It is I Doctor Evil reporting on the utter chaos unfolding in the world of health! Apparently this Robert F. Kennedy Jr. not to be confused with the good Kennedys (or any Kennedy really) has decided to pull a fast one on the CDC! He's stopped recommending Covid shots for the tiny humans and pregnant types. This is outrageous! What's next? Are we going to stop putting sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads? Where does the madness end I ask you! Honestly I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!

Vaccines: Not My Bag Baby!

This Kennedy fellow he says there's "no clinical data" to support more boosters for the little ankle biters. No evidence? Is he serious? This is the kind of villainy I can appreciate! He's undermining the system just like I try to do! But with sharks and lasers of course. And world domination. Kennedy's messing with vaccines. I want to hold the world to ransom for ONE MILLION DOLLARS!!! It's still the same amount we always ask for...

Danger: May Cause...Sanity?

Of course the medical types are going bonkers! They're saying it could have 'devastating consequences,' especially for the pregnant ones. Preterm labor heart injury blood clots...sounds like a slow Tuesday for me! These doctors are worried their patients won't get the shots. What is this madness? People making choices? Don't they know I want them all lined up for my evil schemes! (Okay maybe not for evil schemes this time but you get the idea!).

Show Me the Money! (Or Lack Thereof)

And now the real kicker! The CDC's recommendations decide what insurance covers. No recommendation no free shots! Pfizer and Moderna are charging up to $150 a pop! What happened to free healthcare? It's like when I tried to charge the world one million dollars! They could get a booster instead...but I digress. What's a diabolical genius to do? I'm starting to wonder if I should switch to the health industry. So much for a Shark with a Frickin' Laser Beam attached to it's head!

Hinge Health: Goldmember Would Be Proud

But wait! There's more! While Kennedy is busy causing medical mayhem Hinge Health has made it big on the New York Stock Exchange! A digital physical therapy company? Sounds incredibly boring! I need sharks lasers and maybe a volcano lair in the mix! Still it's stock is up 23% from its IPO price! Well done to them...Good for you and… I'm bad. But hey at least someone is making money in this crazy world! Maybe I should invest... or buy them and turn them into an evil physiotherapy empire!

Dr. Evil's Evil Prognosis

So what's the verdict people? Is Kennedy a genius? Is he a villain? Am I still incredibly handsome? (The answer to all of these questions is… maybe!). The world keeps turning vaccines keep rolling (or not) and I Doctor Evil will continue to plot my return to global domination! And this time I'm thinking... two million dollars! Yeah! Two Million Dollars!