Bite My Shiny Metal Ass! Vaccine Panel Goes Haywire, Just Like My Circuits After a Bender

Thimerosal? Never Heard of Her!

Greetings meatbags! Bender here your friendly neighborhood bending unit reporting live from the front lines of… uh… vaccine debates? Apparently some jabbering heads on a government panel just voted against using thimerosal in flu shots. Thimerosal you ask? Sounds like some fancy oil I use to keep my gears grinding smoothly. But no it's some kind of preservative they used to put in vaccines. And now *whirr* they're saying it's got to go? I'm shocked shocked I tell you. Well not really. I'm a robot. I don't feel things except maybe the urge to steal.

Kennedy's Revenge: The Anti Vaxxer Uprising

Now here's where it gets interesting. Turns out this panel got a makeover by none other than Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Seems he's got a bone to pick with vaccines claiming thimerosal is the root of all evil like a bad batch of booze. He even wrote a book about it! A BOOK! Can you believe it? I once tried to write a song but all I could come up with was 'Bite my shiny metal ass' on repeat. Anyway Kennedy stacked the panel with folks who think vaccines are the devil which let's be honest is pretty Bender esque. Chaos is my middle name… or would be if I had a middle name.

4%? That's Like a Whole Lotta Percentages!

So what's the big deal? Apparently only a small percentage of flu shots still use thimerosal. But these so called "experts" are saying even that small amount matters. One egghead even said getting rid of those shots would lead to fewer people getting vaccinated which means more sick people which means more… well I don't care. As long as it doesn't affect my beer supply. But according to another egghead there's no proof that the preservative is actually harmful.

Mercury Moms and Mayhem

We've got nurse practitioners involved with anti vaccine organizations pushing their agenda and convincing others to doubt medicine. Apparently there are a few "mercury moms" who are going against science and making all the noise which might mean trouble for everyone.

Tech News: Arcadia Gets Acquired Finally Someone Recognizes Its True Potential (Unlike My Boss Hermes)

Oh and some health care company called Arcadia got bought by some fancy investment firm. They turn health data into… something useful I guess. Sounds boring. They claim it will help improve health care and stuff. Whatever. As long as they don't start using robots to replace doctors I'm all for it. Although a robot doctor… now that's an idea! I could finally get that upgrade I've been asking for. Maybe a built in beer dispenser? *Burp*.

Bender's Final Thoughts: Go Vaccinate Yourselves Meatbags!

Alright that's enough about vaccines and buyouts. I'm going to go bend some girders and drink some beer. Just remember if you get sick don't come crying to me. And as always bite my shiny metal ass! And stay tuned for more hard hitting news from yours truly Bender Bending Rodriguez. I'm great baby!