Good News Everyone! OpenAI Building a Social Network to Fight Musk?!

Another Social Network? Why Not I've Only Got One Eye!

Alright meatbags Leela here bringing you the future's hottest gossip. Turns out OpenAI those guys behind that ChatGPT thing Fry keeps asking about are thinking about building their own social network. Yes another one! Like we need more ways to waste time between delivery runs. Apparently it's because everyone's gone nuts over their new image generator. They're making everything from anime versions of themselves to I don't know probably even Zoidberg fan art! But seriously couldn't they focus on something useful like maybe a robot that can finally clean my cyclops visor without scratching it?

Melting GPUs! The Future is Hot Hot Hot!

So this image generation thing is so popular that OpenAI's servers are 'melting,' according to Sam Altman himself. Melting! Sounds like Bender after a bender. He even posted about it on X which let's be honest nobody uses anymore except to complain about Twitter changing its name to X. Altman says they're gonna limit the feature for now which means fewer badly drawn pictures of Nibbler. Thank goodness. My eye can only take so much.

Musk vs. Altman: A Feud for the Ages (and for Profit)

Here's where it gets interesting. Seems like this whole thing is partly a pissing contest between Altman and Elon Musk. You know the guy who wants to live on Mars but can't even manage a social media platform. Musk has his own AI company xAI and they're all competing for who can make the smartest (or maybe just the creepiest) AI. Plus they're in a legal battle because Musk is mad that OpenAI is trying to make money. Apparently he offered to buy them for a bajillion dollars but they told him to bite their shiny metal asses!

Big Bucks No Whammies!

Speaking of money OpenAI just raised $40 billion valuing them at $300 billion. That's enough to buy like a thousand Planet Express ships! Or maybe just one really fancy one with self cleaning windows. Still it's a lot of moolah. Makes you wonder what they're gonna do with it all. Hopefully they'll invest in developing a decent eye laser surgery. I'm tired of winking at everything.

Will It Be Better Than My First Social Network Grinder?

So what does this mean for you the average moron? Well if OpenAI actually builds this social network you'll have another place to post pictures of your lunch and argue with strangers. Maybe it'll be better than X maybe it'll be worse. At least it wont be as bad as Grinder my first social network that was a total nightmare. Who knows? But one thing's for sure: it'll be a distraction from the fact that the world is probably ending soon. Just like old Professor Farnsworth always says "To shreds you say?"

Is This The End?

Whether this new social network is as addictive as Slurm or useful as a suicide booth is something we'll have to wait and see the future is here and now. I better get back to delivering packages. Stay tuned for more updates and remember: Don't forget to tip your cyclops!