Good News, Everyone! Huawei Might Take Over the World (Thanks, America?)

One Eyed Perspective on a Techy Mess

Alright meatbags Leela here reporting live from… well not from the future this time. Turns out the present is just as confusing especially when it comes to these 'AI chips' everyone's squawking about. Apparently Uncle Sam's got a beef with China over who gets to build the brains of tomorrow's robots. And guess what? It involves that company Huawei. The head honcho at Nvidia Jensen Huang is saying if the U.S. keeps squeezing China Huawei's gonna be like 'Fine we'll do it ourselves… with blackjack and hookers… er I mean AI!' I always knew there would be unintended consequences.

Huawei: Not as Great as They Seem (Says Huawei!)

So get this: Huawei's CEO Ren Zhengfei is out there saying they're not as advanced as the U.S. thinks. It's like when Fry thought he was smart after drinking 100 cups of coffee! "We have to work hard to reach their evaluation," Ren said. Translation: 'We're working on it okay? Give us a break!' But Huang is really warning that the US needs to be mindful of near term actions.

American Tech Stack vs. the China Stack: It's a Stack Off!

Huang is worried that if all the best AI developers are hanging out in China they'll end up building on China's 'technology stack' instead of America's. Which is kinda like saying everyone will start using Slurm instead of good old fashioned oil. And nobody wants that! Well maybe Zoidberg does. Woop woop woop!

Visa Revocation and Undermined Trade Talks: Awkward!

Things are getting spicy in the tech trade wars! The U.S. is threatening to yank visas from Chinese students studying important stuff and China is accusing the U.S. of sabotaging trade talks. It's like when Bender tries to cook a Thanksgiving dinner – everyone ends up with hurt feelings and a bad case of indigestion! I'm just saying if the US is going to "aggressively revoke visas of Chinese students," maybe they should at least send them a pizza on their way out of the country...

Huang's Got a Plan (and Trump's Got One Too?)

Huang says it's his job to explain to President Trump how Nvidia's tech works and how the industry operates. He even said "Trump knows what he's doing. He has a game plan. I trust him." Now I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a sign we're all doomed. But hey at least we'll have robots to blame when everything goes wrong! "I support him the best we can" says Huang. Hmmm...

Europe: The Third Wheel... or a Tech Powerhouse?

Hold on to your hats people because Europe wants a piece of the AI pie too! Huang is saying France could be the next big AI exporter alongside… *gasp*… energy! Apparently Europe wants to be its own independent market not relying on China or anyone else. Maybe they should build a giant robot that can wave a white flag extra fast. Just kidding! (Mostly.) Anyway Huang added that the EU is going to be a very large market for AI. Good news to hear!