Good News, Everyone! Home Depot's Future Looks Brighter Than Fry's Underpants!

Contractors Feeling Optimistic? What Is This Opposite Day?

Alright meatbags Leela here your one eyed reporter from the year 3024! Seems like some Earthican contractors are feeling all warm and fuzzy about the future. A recent survey – conducted by someone named Morgan Stanley who I assume isn’t related to Stanley from accounting (he smells of stale Bachelor Chow) – suggests that builders and remodelers are seeing some signs of… stability? In this economy? I'd believe it when pigs fly...or maybe when Zoidberg finally gets a date that doesn't involve dumpster diving.

Backlogs and Big Projects: Sounds Like a Job for Planet Express!

Apparently these contractors are swimming in a backlog of projects and expect even more business later in 2025. And get this – they're seeing a demand for *larger* projects! Nobody’s downgrading to tiny Bender sized apartments it seems. Maybe this is our chance to finally get that Planet Express headquarters remodeled! I'm talking solid steel walls that can withstand a Nibblonian attack. Or at least a strongly worded letter from Mom.

Tariffs: The Silent Killer (of Profits That Is)

Of course it ain't all sunshine and daisies folks. These contractors are still sweating about material costs thanks to inflation and those blasted tariffs. Seems like every time someone tries to make a buck some intergalactic goon slaps on a tariff. It's enough to make a girl wanna join the Dark Ones...almost. According to the article tariffs were a major concern before April 2nd and it probably will be an even bigger concern now. *shrugs*

Home Depot's Response: 'We're Monitoring Developments...' Yawn!

Home Depot’s response? A thrilling statement about “monitoring developments” and being a “customer’s advocate for value.” Oh the drama! It is hard to say what the impact of tariffs will be but on May 20th Home Depot will make more statements. At least they are self aware enough to know not to make comments when they are in a quiet period until earnings whatever that is.

CEO Ted Decker: 'Our Houses Are Old and Crumbling!'

Home Depot CEO Ted Decker went on TV and basically said "Hey our houses are old and falling apart! Come buy stuff!" He makes a fair point I guess. Most of these old houses are as old as Professor Farnsworth and need just as much maintenance. I bet he shops at Home Depot! Good news everyone!

Cramer Says 'Buy Home Depot!' But What Does Zoidberg Say?

Some Earthican TV guy named Jim Cramer is telling everyone to buy Home Depot stock. He thinks lower mortgage rates will get people building and remodeling like crazy. Hmm maybe *I* should invest. Then again I'm usually too busy trying to save the universe from giant brains and space wasps. Either way at least Zoidberg will have new material to scavenge after the boom!