Zuckerberg's AI Binge: Is He Finally Going to Build Me a Time Machine?

The Zuck Does It Again!

Good heavens has the world gone mad? Zuckerberg that rather dull fellow who brought us the endless abyss of Facebook is now throwing money at AI like it's Halloween candy. Apparently he's building a 'superintelligence' unit. I do hope this doesn't involve more FarmVille. The horror! I'd rather gargle gravel than endure another virtual cow milking session. As if I have time to deal with that when I am trying to conquer the world!

A Billion Dollars? Chump Change!

Bank of America estimates a billion dollars in expenses? A mere pittance! I spend more than that on my diabolical schemes before breakfast. Honestly if he's going to build a proper AI one that can finally understand my genius and assist me with my world domination plans he needs to think bigger. We're talking lasers gentlemen. Lasers and possibly a robotic Brian.

Amazon Weighs In: Is This All Just Hype?

Even that chap from Amazon Andy Jassy is getting in on the act calling AI the 'most transformative technology of our lifetime.' Oh please! I've seen more transformative changes in my diaper after a particularly spicy vindaloo. Still he is right! It's imperative that I get a hold of a proper AI to get my death ray going so I can finally get rid of Lois!!

Meta Superintelligence Labs: Sounds Ominous Darling

Meta Superintelligence Labs you say? Sounds like something straight out of a Bond villain's lair. One can only hope they have better snacks. I'm rather partial to Beluga caviar and a dry martini shaken not stirred of course. And if I find out they’re using Comic Sans on their internal memos there will be consequences.

Poaching the Best: Sam Altman is Not Impressed

Zuckerberg is apparently offering $100 million signing bonuses to steal AI talent from OpenAI. Ha! Amateurs. I would have offered them a lifetime supply of Rupert Murdoch's hair clippings. Now that’s an incentive. Good grief can you imagine the leverage I'd have in that situation? World domination here I come! Bwahaha!

Show Me the Money! Or At Least a Decent AI

Ultimately it all comes down to whether Meta can actually monetize this AI madness. Their Llama model is currently lagging behind the competition. Frankly Llama sounds like what Brian coughed up after eating too much grass. They need to improve it or else this whole venture will be about as successful as Chris trying to parallel park.