Trump's Tariffs Got You Down? This One Weird Stock Will Make You Filthy Rich!

Oh the Humanity! (and Tariffs)

Good heavens has the world gone mad? Tariffs you say? Honestly it's enough to make one swap their binky for a brandy. But fear not my financially inclined friends for Stewie Griffin is here to guide you through this economic quagmire. Apparently this Victoria Greene person from G Squared Private Wealth – sounds dreadfully important doesn't it? – has some ideas on how to make a quick buck amidst all this Trumpian chaos. And you know what I say 'Victory is mine!' *evil laugh*

Cheniere Energy: Gas Gas GAS!

First up we have Cheniere Energy. Now I'm no Captain Planet but apparently natural gas is the hot commodity when trade wars are afoot. Greene thinks Cheniere will be the 'biggest primary beneficiary' of any tariff deals. Apparently if you need to import something during a trade spat natural gas is the easiest thing to strike a deal for. It's all rather… elementary my dear Watson! And their Corpus Christi Stage 3 Liquefaction Project is producing liquefied natural gas (LNG). Fixed rates growing production she just 'absolutely loves this stock'. Honestly it's all rather fascinating like watching Brian attempt to write a decent novel – utterly hopeless yet strangely compelling.

Novo Nordisk: Pill Popping Profits?

Next we have Novo Nordisk a pharmaceutical company that's apparently taken a bit of a tumble. Down 23% this year which is quite alarming even by my standards. Greene thinks they're being unfairly lumped in with other European pharmaceuticals despite their U.S. presence in New Jersey and North Carolina. 'I look at this as they're a little bit safer from tariffs even if they are Danish and we are in a little bit of a kerfuffle over Greenland with the Danes but they're a great company,' she said. A kerfuffle over Greenland? Good heavens what is this a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta? Still she sees growth intact. Perhaps I should invest; one can never have too many pharmaceutical contacts you know for... research purposes.

Welltower: Silver Tsunami of Cash!

And finally we have Welltower a real estate investment trust specializing in senior housing. Now this is where things get interesting. Greene mentions a 'silver tsunami' – a delightful image really – referring to the aging baby boomer generation. As they get older the number of caregivers declines leading to huge growth opportunities. Apparently Welltower is the 'best senior living stock' and Greene anticipates a 15% to 20% growth in net operating income. It's all rather morbidly fascinating like watching Lois attempt to parallel park. But hey if there's money to be made I'm all in!

Pro LIVE: A Cocktail Hour With The Elite?

But wait there's more! Apparently CNBC is hosting some sort of exclusive event at the New York Stock Exchange. 'Pro LIVE' they call it. Interactive clinics networking and even a cocktail hour on the trading floor. Honestly it sounds like the perfect opportunity to rub elbows with the financial elite subtly plant my world domination plans and maybe swipe a few canapés. Tickets are limited you say? Well Pip pip cheerio I'm off to secure my place in the annals of financial history!

So What Have We Learned?

In conclusion my dear readers the world may be a chaotic mess of tariffs and trade wars but with a little guidance (from yours truly of course) and some shrewd investments we can all emerge victorious. Whether it's natural gas pharmaceuticals or senior living there's always an opportunity to turn a profit. Now if you'll excuse me I have a martini to mix and a world to conquer. Pip pip cheerio! And remember 'What the deuce?' is always a valid question.