The AI Apocalypse is Nigh: Silicon Valley Sacrifices Safety for Profit!

Victory is mine! Mwah ha ha!

Oh the absolute horror! It appears Silicon Valley that den of technological iniquity has decided to throw caution to the wind and sprint headlong into the AI apocalypse. Instead of meticulously crafting these digital overlords with the utmost care they're churning out half baked AI models faster than Brian can devour a plate of kibble. What's next world domination by poorly trained chatbots? This is worse than the time Lois tried to cut my hair.

The Dawn of the Dumb Bots

Once upon a time these tech titans Meta Google and OpenAI were beacons of innovation generously funding top tier AI research. They openly shared their breakthroughs fostering a collaborative spirit. But alas those days are as dead as Rupert after I’m through with him. Now it's all about the Benjamins baby! Profit margins are soaring with some analysts predicting a cool trillion in revenue by 2028. But at what cost I ask you? At what cost?!

Safety Schmafety!

In this mad dash for AI supremacy these companies are cutting corners faster than Peter trying to avoid a bill. James White from CalypsoAI that's cybersecurity startup CalypsoAI warns that newer models are prioritizing quality (i.e. sassier chatbot responses) over security. Apparently it's now easier to trick these digital darlings into divulging bomb making secrets or revealing sensitive information to hackers. Fantastic! Just what the world needed.

Meta's Meltdown and Google's Goof Ups

Meta or as I like to call them 'The Social Media Menace,' has reportedly sidelined its Fundamental Artificial Intelligence Research (FAIR) unit choosing instead to focus on the more commercially viable GenAI. Google that bastion of search engine dominance has merged its research group Google Brain with DeepMind the division responsible for churning out AI products. The message is clear: research is out revenue is in. This is like Lois suddenly deciding she prefers Mort Goldman to me. Unthinkable!

OpenAI's Open Folly

And then there's OpenAI that company which was originally founded as a non profit research lab is now racing to commercialize its products. They’re even accused of rushing the rollout of their o1 reasoning model with some safety evaluations based on earlier versions. One of OpenAI's safety testers Metr said that they were given less time to test the o3 and o4 mini models than predecessors. And their newest reasoning model o3 seems to hallucinate more than twice as often as o1. As if it couldn't get worse eh?

Prepare for the Rise of the Machines!

So here we stand on the precipice of an AI fueled dystopia all thanks to corporate greed and short sightedness. The tech giants are too busy counting their profits to realize they're creating a monster. Well I for one am not going down without a fight. I'll be in my laboratory tinkering with my latest invention a device to… well you'll just have to wait and see. Just remember when the AI overlords come knocking you can all say you knew Stewie Griffin warned you! Now if you'll excuse me I have a death ray to calibrate.