Good GRIEF! China's Economy Flirts with Deflation Thanks to Trump's TARIFF Tantrums!

Blast These Tariffs!

Oh BRILLIANT. Just when I thought the world couldn't get any more tedious along comes this economic kerfuffle! Apparently President Trump (or whatever geriatric autocrat is in charge these days) decided to slap tariffs so high on Chinese goods that they're basically radioactive. Now China's stuck with all these delightful trinkets nobody in America wants and they're trying to flog them off to their own people. It's like when Lois tries to sell her 'artwork' at a church bazaar – only on a scale that could actually you know affect something.

Domestic Doldrums

So what happens when you try to sell a mountain of 'Made in China' goods to Chinese consumers? A price war darling! Think Black Friday at Walmart but with more yelling in Mandarin. Companies like JD.com (whoever THEY are) are practically GIVING things away. Sounds great right? WRONG! This 'ferocious price war,' as some Barclays economist calls it is crushing company profits. And guess what that leads to? Yes fewer jobs. It’s enough to make one reach for the claret.

The Deflation Nation

And here's the real kicker: deflation. Not the kind where Lois deflates after attempting to squeeze into a size 2 dress but the kind that spells economic doom! Prices are falling people are scared to spend and it's all going downhill faster than Peter on a greased up water slide. The consumer price index is going south and the producer price index is following it. Oh joy.

Job Losses Loom

Goldman Sachs (those dreary number crunchers) estimates that hold your monocles 16 MILLION jobs are tied to producing goods for the U.S. If those jobs vanish that's a lot of disgruntled factory workers. And disgruntled workers tend to get ideas. Revolutionary ideas. Oh please don't let this be another French Revolution situation. I haven't the wardrobe for it.

Beijing's Balancing Act

So what's Beijing doing about all this? Well mostly twiddling their thumbs apparently. Some economists think they're waiting for things to get REALLY bad before they start throwing money around. They seem to think low prices are a 'buffer' for household savings. I say hogwash! It's like telling someone with a broken leg that the pain is a 'buffer' against boredom. Utter lunacy!

The Future? Oh Who Knows!

Some professor from Peking University (sounds frightfully dull) thinks the whole thing will blow over soon and in the meantime the US will be paying more for their products. But who really knows what the future holds? Frankly I'm more concerned about whether I'll ever get my hands on that quantum entanglement device I've been coveting. Now THAT would be a worthwhile investment!