Bloody Hell! Are You Still Mooching Off Your Mum's Cell Phone Plan?

Good Lord Are We Still Talking About This?

Oh pip pip cheerio the latest news is something that should be patently obvious to anyone with half a brain: financial independence. Apparently some blithering Americans think that being on your parent's cell phone plan is a sign you haven't quite grasped this concept. Honestly it's like watching Brian try to understand quantum physics – utterly futile! AT&T (whoever they are) did a survey and a whopping 76% think ditching the family cell plan is a 'ultimate sign' of adulthood. What next wiping your own bottom? It's basic bloody common sense!

21? More Like 41!

The survey also revealed that about two thirds of the people think that you should be paying your own bill by the age of 21. Of course that is easier said than done. Most waited until age 27 — and 18% didn't start paying for their plan until age 40 or later. Forty! Good heavens I'll be conquering the world by then! They are still living under their parents' thumbs like a toddler with a soiled diaper.

The Last Bastion of Mooching

Some 'expert' (who clearly needs a stiff drink and a vacation) named Carolyn McClanahan chimed in stating that cell phone plans are often the last vestige of parental support. They can't stay on their parent's plan once they are no longer living them after they've finished school," said McClanahan a member of the CNBC Financial Advisor Council . "At 26 they have to get their own health insurance. So it is not surprising that they stayed on the family phone plan as the last break for independence." Well duh! I've said it before and I'll say it again: "What the deuce?" Is it any wonder that parents are tired of being walked all over?

Micro Milestones and Massive Failures

Apparently adulting is hard these days! You know back in my day (when I was you know *ruling the world* in my imagination) things were far simpler. Now these millennials and Gen Z ers are apparently burdened by high costs and student loans. I would not know I have enough money to buy out Hasbro and make Peppa Pig my personal jester. Another 'expert' (I'm sensing a pattern here) Douglas Boneparth says that separating from a parent's cell phone plan is a 'micro milestone.' Micro? More like a microscopic achievement considering it should be table stakes for adulthood!

The Cost of Communication (and Incompetence)

The average monthly cell phone bill is $144 which can get you a high powered rifle for a very specific someone. These millennials and Gen Z folks also have lower wages compared to their parents when they were younger plus crippling student loan debt. It's a vicious cycle of incompetence! But hey at least they can tweet about it on their parent's dime right? What I wouldn't give to have a time machine and a cattle prod...

Adulting: A Comedy of Errors

Ultimately Boneparth states that adulting isn't always about the "big life events" but rather owning the basics like paying your phone bill. These micro milestones offer a sense of progress and control when other financial goals feel out of reach. A sense of progress? By paying a bill? I think I need a drink. This whole situation is more depressing than watching Rupert Murdoch try to breakdance. Good Grief!