Blast Off! OpenAI Avoids Total Takeover... For Now! Nya, ha, ha!

Victory is Mine! Er Theirs! Whatever!

Good heavens what's this? Apparently OpenAI the blithering idiot brigade responsible for that infernal chatbot ChatGPT has decided to keep its grubby little nonprofit under control. Yes after being hounded by busybodies and that Musk fellow – honestly does he ever stop tweeting? – they’ve caved. I for one am mildly intrigued. Mildly. Think of it as a passing fancy like my brief obsession with cod liver oil. Although I must admit the fact that this will irritate that buffoon Musk is a rather delightful side effect. You know sometimes my genius is... it's almost frightening.

Public Benefit Corporation? Sounds Dreadfully Boring!

Bret Taylor – sounds like a chap who enjoys a good prune danish doesn't he? – has declared that they're converting their little limited liability company into a 'public benefit corporation.' Oh the humanity! It’s like being forced to watch Brian write his drivelous stories. Apparently this allows everyone – employees investors even the dreary nonprofit – to own equity. Equity darling equity! The sort of thing that could fund my next world domination scheme. Although admittedly I'm currently preoccupied with perfecting my cucumber sandwiches. Less crust more pate you see.

Musk's Meltdown! A Spectacle Worthy of Champagne!

Ah yes the Musk melodrama continues! He’s squawking like a banshee about OpenAI becoming a for profit entity whilst simultaneously trying to conquer the AI market himself with xAI. Honestly the man's ego is bigger than my collection of vintage teddy bears and that's saying something! Altman bless his cotton socks claims they're focused on their mission whilst everyone else is obsessed with Musk. Quite right! Let the plebians squabble while the grown ups play chess.

ChatGPT: A Toy for the Masses a Tool for Me!

This ChatGPT contraption apparently has gone 'viral.' How utterly pedestrian! I on the other hand am viral resistant. Germs cower before my superior intellect and robust constitution. It's also perfect for writing threatening letters to Rupert Murdoch with plausible deniability of course. The company is still overseen by a nonprofit parent and has faced significant hurdles in its goal to restructure into a for profit due largely to Musk.

The $97.4 Billion Fiasco! What a Waste of Money!

Can you believe it? A Musk led group offered to buy OpenAI for a staggering $97.4 billion! What a colossal waste of capital! With that kind of money I could build a moon base staffed entirely by genetically engineered lobsters trained to perform interpretive dance. Alas their offer was rejected. Their loss really.

Safety Concerns? Nonsense! Bring on the Robots!

A gaggle of ex employees Nobel laureates and other assorted worrywarts sent a letter to the attorneys general about the dangers of OpenAI going full blown for profit. They claim it would “subvert OpenAI’s charitable purpose.” Charitable purpose? Ha! As if! The only charitable purpose I'm interested in is my own aggrandizement. Still I suppose a little bit of dramatic tension keeps things interesting like when Rupert chases me around the mansion to give me my castor oil.