Mmm, Jobs! Economy Still Kickin' Despite Trump's Tariff Tantrums!

Woohoo! More Jobs Than Donuts!

D'oh! Looks like everyone's still got jobs! The government guys or maybe they were aliens said we got 177,000 new jobs in April. That's almost enough for everyone in Springfield to have TWO jobs! Even with President Trump throwing tariffs around like free donuts...mmm donuts... the economy's still chugging along like a perfectly timed beer delivery to Moe's. Woohoo!

Unemployment? More Like Un ENJOY ment!

The unemployment rate stayed at 4.2%. That means hardly anyone's not working! Unless you're Lenny... or Carl... or Barney... Actually a lot of people I know are kinda unemployed. But hey numbers are numbers right? And these numbers say we're all doing... okay diddly okay! Flanders would be proud even though he's probably got like six jobs.

Tariffs? Sounds Like Terrible French Fries!

So Trump put these 'tariffs' on things. Sounds like something Lisa would complain about. Apparently it's supposed to make things more 'reciprocal'. I don't know what that means but it sounds complicated and probably involves taxes. Taxes are bad mmmkay? But he's putting a hold on these tariffs like he's finally listening to Marge. Phew! Close call! Doh!

Health Care: The Heart of the Job Market!

The health care folks are hiring like crazy! 51,000 new jobs! Maybe they're finally figuring out how to cure my... condition. You know the one where I need donuts every five minutes? Transportation and finance are also hiring but let's be honest health care is where it's at! Plus I hear they have good snacks in the breakroom. Mmm snacks...

Paychecks? Not Quite Enough for Duff!

Okay so the paychecks didn't grow as much as the smarty pants people thought they would. Only 0.2%? That's barely enough to buy a Duff! And they even went back and changed the numbers from before to make it look WORSE! This is getting worse all the time!

The Fed: They Better Not Mess With My Money!

These Fed guys are thinking about lowering the interest rates in July and maybe again after that! That sounds good right? More money for beer! But Trump is saying they should lower it NOW! I dunno these things confuse me. All I know is if my beer money disappears I'm blaming the Fed. And maybe Flanders. Doh!