Doh! Vaccine Panel Purge! Kennedy Jr. Replaces Experts with...Donuts? (Not Really, But Maybe Should've)

Kennedy Does a 'D'oh!' with Vaccine Experts?

Well folks looks like things are getting a little…spicy in the world of vaccines! This Kennedy fella the one who's not afraid to speak his mind (or maybe just got bonked on the head one too many times) he fired the whole vaccine advisory group. Fired 'em! Like they were Smithers or something! And then get this he replaced 'em! With new people! Some of whom are let's just say not exactly fans of the pointy needle. Mmm pointy needles…

Meet the New Bosses Kinda Like the Old Bosses But With More Skepticism (And Maybe Less Common Sense?)

So who are these mystery advisors? Well there's this Dr. Malone guy says he helped make the mRNA vaccines but now he's like "Meh maybe not so good." And some other folks who seem to think vaccines are more like a monster than a miracle. One of them even thinks measles deaths are from doctor mistakes not the actual measles! Can you believe it? Reminds me of the time I blamed the dog for eating my pie. Doh!

Public Health Experts Say 'Eat My Shorts!' (But Nicely)

Naturally the smarty pants public health experts are freaking out. One guy called it a "national tragedy." A tragedy! That's like when they canceled "Itchy and Scratchy"! It's bad people bad! They're worried these new advisors will make it harder to get vaccines or that insurance companies will start saying "Eh no thanks not covering that!" Which means more people getting sick. And nobody wants that except maybe Dr. Hibbert 'cause then he gets more patients. Heh heh heh.

Kennedy's Defense: 'They're All Highly Credentialed...And They All Love Evidence...Maybe'

But Kennedy says it's all good! He says these new folks are "highly credentialed" and love "evidence based medicine." Sure Kennedy sure. Just like you love salads right? I mean I'm not saying they're all crazy but one of them is on the board of this group that spreads all sorts of scary stories about vaccines. Sounds kinda fishy to me. Mmm fishy…

The Plot Thickens (Like My Gravy)

And get this: One of the new advisors this Levi fella he's got a tweet pinned to the top of his account saying mRNA vaccines cause “serious harm including death!” Yikes! That's a little more than just saying you don't like broccoli. But hey at least one of the new folks this Meissner guy seems to think measles vaccines are safe. So maybe there's still some hope for us dummies. Woohoo!

So What Does This All Mean? I Dunno Gimme a Donut!

Look I'm just a simple man who loves donuts and avoiding responsibility. But even I can see this vaccine shake up is a little…weird. Will it mean fewer people getting vaccinated? Will we all be walking around coughing and sneezing and blaming it on the dog? Who knows! All I know is I'm gonna go stock up on donuts. Just in case. Doh!