Doh! Stocks Go Up, Stocks Go Down, Donuts Go... Where?

Stupid Diabetes Stocks Always Ruining My Sugar Rush!

Mmm diabetes... usually I'm all about that sweet sweet sugar. But these diabetes tech stocks? D'oh! They're going down faster than I can eat a box of donuts. Apparently some big shots are changing the rules about those glucose monitor thingamajigs. Tandem Diabetes Care Beta Bionics Dexcom Insulet – all taking a nosedive! It's like when Mr. Burns cuts off the electricity to the donut machine! Not cool man. Not cool.

Progress Software? More Like Progress... Slowly!

This Progress Software company well they made a bit of a boo boo. They didn't make as much money as everyone thought they would. But get this they still made more money than people expected! It's like when I finish a whole box of donuts and Marge says "Homer!" but then I find another donut in my pocket! A mixed bag just like a box of assorted donuts.

GE Vernova? More Like GE Ver NO va!

GE Vernova is thinking about selling some software thingy called Proficy. I don't know what it does but it sounds boring. Anyway the stock went down which is just like my mood when I realize I'm out of Duff Beer. This is giving me a serious case of the blahs. Maybe I'll go to Moe's.

Trump vs. Musk: An Epic Battle of Egos and... Subsidies?!

Oh boy here we go again. Trump's going after Elon Musk! He wants to cut subsidies for Musk's companies including Tesla. Tesla stock took a dive which is like my car after I drive it off a cliff! These billionaires always fighting. Can't they just hug it out over a plate of donuts? Then again I'd hog them all anyway! Heh heh!

Hasbro and the Magic of Money (and Toys!)

Finally some good news! Hasbro the toy company is doing better! Apparently some new "Magic: The Gathering" thingy is selling like crazy! I don't know what it is but if it means more money for toys then I'm all for it! Maybe they'll make a Homer Simpson action figure... that comes with a donut! I'd buy that!

Outback Steakhouse is Boomin'! (And So is My Stomach)

Woohoo! Outback Steakhouse is doing great! Their parent company Bloomin' Brands is up 16%! Maybe everyone's craving a Bloomin' Onion! Mmm Bloomin' Onion... I can almost taste it! This is the kind of news I like to hear! Time to celebrate with a trip to Outback. I'm so hungry I could eat a... well you know the rest.