Doh! Oil Prices Do a Homer: Plunge Faster Than Me on a Water Slide!

Missile Mishap? More Like Missile...Meh!

Woohoo! I heard on the news that some fellas in Iran launched a missile at a U.S. airbase in Qatar. But get this nobody got hurt! Not even a little owie! So the oil prices went down faster than I can say 'Mmm donuts.' Apparently fancy investors thought 'Hey maybe these guys aren't gonna blow everything up after all!' So oil went down. Down down down! Like me after too many Duff beers.

D'oh! Why Oil Prices Matter to a Regular Joe Like Me

Now I don't know much about politics except that it's boring and usually involves someone trying to take away my beer money. But I do know oil makes the car go! And if the car don't go I can't get to Moe's! So when those eggheads on TV start yapping about 'de escalation' and 'global benchmarks,' I just wanna know if I'm gonna have to sell the TV to afford gas. And right now it sounds like maybe just maybe I can keep watching the Itchy & Scratchy Show.

The Strait of What Now? Sounds Like a Bad Hair Day!

Apparently there's this place called the Strait of Hormuz. Sounds like something Marge uses to straighten her hair eh? They say a lot of oil goes through this thing. And some big shot analysts are worried that if Iran closes it the whole world will go 'AAAAHHHH!' Like when I find out there's no more Duff at the Kwik E Mart! But who cares? Marge said to not worry. Everything will be just fine.

Marco Rubio: Sounds Like a Fancy Italian Sub!

This Rubio guy he's telling Iran not to close the Strait of Hormuz. He says it would be 'economic suicide'! Sounds serious like when I accidentally super glued my hand to a donut. He even mentioned China! Apparently they need that oil too. So Rubio's hoping the Chinese will call up Iran and say 'Hey knock it off!' Makes sense to me. Maybe they can offer them some delicious egg rolls too!

Libya Iraq and Saudi Arabia: A Springfield Sized Mess!

The news keeps talking about other places like Libya and Iraq and Saudi Arabia. It's all a big confusing mess. Like when Bart tries to explain quantum physics to me. All I know is it involves oil and oil means gas and gas means I can drive to Krusty Burger! And Saudi Arabia is following with deep concern the developments in the Islamic Republic of Iran particularly the targeting of Iranian nuclear facilities by the United States of America...Marge can you read this to me it is way too long for me. Wooooo... Marge?

Woohoo! Hope for the Best Prepare for the Worst...and Always Have a Donut!

So the bottom line is this: Oil prices went down because nobody got blown up. But there's still a chance things could go wrong. So I'm gonna keep my fingers crossed hope for the best and make sure I've got a lifetime supply of donuts and Duff! 'Cause you never know when the world's gonna end. Mmm donuts…