Doh! Inflation Slower Than My Drive-Thru Order! Trump's Tariffs Blamed!

Mmm Inflation...

Well folks Homer Simpson here reporting live from my couch with a donut in hand. Apparently prices went up slower than Barney can finish a beer at Moe's this May! The Bureau of... whatchamacallit... Statistics says the 'consumer price index' – sounds like a fancy sandwich – only went up a teeny bit. Like less than the amount of sprinkles on my donut. 0.1% can you believe it? Mmm 0.1%... tastes like...nothing! Doh!

Tariffs? More Like TARRRR ific Mess!

Now some fancy pants economists were expecting prices to jump higher thanks to President Trump's 'tariffs.' Sounds like some kind of bug spray but apparently it's got something to do with money and stuff. They're saying those tariffs haven't really kicked in yet like when I try to start the car after a few Duff beers. It takes a while and it ain't pretty.

Energy Prices: D'oh! Not the Gas!

Good news everyone! Energy prices went down a little. Which means maybe just maybe I can afford to drive to Krusty Burger more often! Gas prices dropped like my jaw when Marge tells me we're out of beer. But egg prices? Still up like my weight after a trip to the All You Can Eat Seafood Buffet. Mmm seafood...

The Fed? Sounds Like a Bird Feeder!

This 'Federal Reserve' – sounds like a fancy bird feeder – is thinking about what to do next. Vice President JD Vance (not to be confused with Vance Refrigeration) is yelling at them to lower interest rates. He says it's 'monetary malpractice,' which sounds serious like when Bart puts itching powder in Principal Skinner's underwear. The horror! They're kinda saying that they don't believe inflation is actually a problem which is probably why donuts cost so much.

Trump's Trade Wars: Ay Caramba!

Trump is still messing around with trade deals trying to get a better price on… stuff. He slapped tariffs on a bunch of countries which I dunno sounds like he's trying to pick a fight with everyone. Hopefully it doesn't mean Krusty Burger starts charging extra for the Krusty Shake! 'Cause if that happens there WILL be consequences!

Data Collection? More Like Data Deception!

And get this! The government is cutting back on collecting data. They're using some fancy 'imputation' thingy to fill in the blanks. Sounds like they're making stuff up! Like when I tell Marge I was 'working late' at the power plant when I was really at Moe's. Doh! Smaller sample sizes could mean the numbers are all wonky but they swear it's 'minimal impact.' Yeah right. I've heard that one before.