Doh! Bill Gates Promises to Share His Doughnuts (Err, Dollars!)

Mmm Money... For Charity?

Hey there folks! Homer Simpson here reporting live from my couch! So this Bill Gates guy the one who made all those computers that are always crashing on me says he's gonna give away $200 billion! That's like a gazillion Krusty Burgers! He says he wants to help kids and stop the world from turning into a giant barbeque. Good for him I guess. But still can I have one tiny little billion please? I promise I'll use it for good... mostly for Duff Beer and donuts. Mmm donuts...

Carnegie Said What Now?

Apparently some old dude named Andrew Carnegie told Bill not to hoard all his money. Smart guy! Reminds me of when Mr. Burns tried to hoard all the sunlight. Bad move Burns! Gates doesn't want people saying 'He died rich!' Well I don't want people saying 'He died hungry!' So maybe I should start my own foundation. The 'Homer Simpson Foundation for Beer and Donuts'. It has a nice ring to it don't you think? Doh!

The Gates Foundation: Even My Ex Has One!

So Bill and his ex wife Melinda have this thing called the Gates Foundation. They've already given away over $100 billion! That's a lot of moolah! They started it back in 2000. That was a good year I think I got a free churro that year. Anyway they're gonna shut it down in 2045. Hopefully before then they solve the problem of donuts disappearing from my plate. It's a real crisis people!

Philanthropists Can't Fix Everything (Especially My Blunders)

Even with all this money flying around Gates says the big shots are cutting back on helping the poor. He says even his giant foundation can't fix that. It's like trying to fill a nuclear power plant with water from a garden hose! D'oh! Well at least he's trying. Maybe he should try giving everyone a free donut. That would solve a lot of problems I tell ya. Peace on Earth one donut at a time.

Gates vs. Musk: A Billionaire Beef?

Now here's where it gets interesting! Gates is throwing shade at Elon Musk! Seems like Musk's been cutting foreign aid. Gates says this is making the world a sad place. "The picture of the world's richest man killing the world's poorest children is not a pretty one," Gates told the Financial Times. Ouch! That's gotta sting more than a bee to the behind! Maybe they should settle it with a pie eating contest. Loser has to buy everyone donuts!

Musk's Giving Pledge: Will He or Won't He?

Musk signed something called the Giving Pledge. He promised to give away half his money! But Gates isn't sure if he'll follow through. He said Musk could wait until he dies. It's like when I promise Marge I'll clean the garage... eventually. Musk's given away less than 1% of his fortune so far. Come on Musk don't be a Nelson Muntz! Give those kids a chance! Maybe he's just waiting for the right moment...like when they invent donut flavored rockets. Then he can really give back! Doh!