Doh! Berkshire Bazaar Has More Bargains Than I Have Brain Cells!

Mmm Berkshire Bazaar!

Woohoo! Your favorite nuclear safety inspector (that's me Homer Simpson!) reporting live from Omaha! And let me tell you this ain't your average trip to the Kwik E Mart. This here's the Berkshire Bazaar of Bargains and it's got more shiny things than Mr. Burns' money bin! They got everything! Warren Buffett's face plastered on chocolate coins running shoes that probably make you run faster to the donut shop and enough plush toys to fill a bouncy castle!

Squishmallows: The New Doh nuts?

These Squishmallow things... they're like super popular man. Apparently folks are grabbing over a thousand of these snuggly dolls an hour! They got Warren Buffett and that other dude Charlie…the one who ain't giving me no money! They even got a dog one now called 'Omaha.' I don't know what these things are made of but they're squishier than Bart's brain after watching Krusty all day! These things were so hot that Berkshire started sellin' PILLOWS with those dudes printed on 'em! I bet I could use one of those for my nap...

Chocolate Coins: The Currency of Happiness

Mmm chocolate coins! See's Candies is slingin' out boxes of toasted marshmallow flavored chocolates with Buffett chillin' next to a campfire on the box. It's like he's sayin' 'Come gather 'round and let's all get diabetes together!' They even got peanut brittle! Peanut brittle people! It's the snack that makes you feel like you're at Grandma's house even if your grandma is a corporate conglomerate. I'm getting a sugar rush just thinking about it! Mmm sugar...

Dilly Bars: The Cold Hard Truth

And if chocolate ain't your thing then head on over to Dairy Queen! They're servin' up Dilly Bars for a buck! A DOLLAR! That's cheaper than Krusty Burger! Plus you can get a Buster Bar for two smackers. It's the perfect way to cool down after luggin' around all those Squishmallows and chocolate coins. Though let's be honest there's always room for ice cream. Always! "I am evil Homer! I am evil Homer!" ... Wait a minute I'm not supposed to eat that sugar!

Run Forrest Run... to the Buffet!

Brooks Running is sellin' special edition running shoes with 'Berkshire Hathaway' plastered all over 'em. And get this – some people are actually gonna *run* in them! They're doin' some kind of 'Invest in Yourself' 5K fun run. Me? I'd rather invest in myself by investing in a couch and a six pack of Duff. But hey to each their own I guess. I wonder if they can modify them to make them anti slip to avoid accidents while I carry the nuclear rods...

Claw Machines and Fancy Planes!?

They even got a claw machine where you can win prizes from Berkshire companies! And for ten bucks a pop you can try your luck. I should bring Maggie to this she's so good at grabbing things! Then there's NetJets showin' off their fancy private planes. I bet those things have a built in donut dispenser. Oh and if you buy too much stuff there's a shipping company that'll send it all home for ya. They even got some ultra rare jewelry which I cannot afford. Doh! I wish I had the money. I'll just keep dreaming...