Trump's State Department Shakeup! Are They Finally Getting Rid of All the Dumbasses?

Screw You Guys I'm Streamlining Diplomacy!

Alright listen up you guys. Apparently Trump – yeah that dude who's way cooler than all you hippies – is about to seriously mess with the State Department. And about damn time too! This whole 'disciplined reorganization' thing sounds like it's gonna be yuge! I'm talking major changes like shutting down embassies in Africa. Who even cares about Africa anyway? They just want our money and our Xboxes!

No More Hugging Trees and Singing Kumbaya!

So get this these morons at the State Department got bureaus focusing on 'democracy' and 'human rights.' What a load of PC crap! That's like saying I should be nice to Butters. No way dude! This order is gonna ditch all that garbage and focus on what's important: Making America great again! Respect my authoritah!

Regional Corps? Sounds Like Something Out of Star Wars!

Okay so they're consolidating everything into four 'regional corps.' Eurasia Mid East Latin America and Indo Pacific. Sounds like some kind of sci fi crap from Star Wars or that stupid Indiana Jones movie with the aliens! But whatever as long as it gets rid of the dead weight and the stupid hippies I'm all for it!

Canada is For Losers!

Even Canada is getting the axe! Serves those Canadians right for being so polite and boring. Who needs a full blown embassy in Canada anyway? They can just deal with a 'significantly reduced team.' Suck it Canada!

Fake News! Or is it?!

Marco Rubio is screaming 'Fake News!' like a little girl but honestly who knows what's true anymore? All I care about is that these climate change nutjobs and whiny feminists are finally getting the boot. Good riddance I say! Now go home and cook you ladies!

If You Don't Like It You Can GET OUT!

And here's the best part: if these diplomats don't like Trump's 'foreign policy vision,' they can just leave! A one time buyout? Sweet! It's like the government is paying them to shut up and go away! Maybe I should apply. I bet I could run the State Department way better than those dorks. I'm going home!