Screw You Guys I'm Slapping Tariffs On Cambodia?!

What What What?!

Okay so apparently President Trump—and let's be honest that dude's as dumb as Butters sometimes—is slapping these HUGE tariffs on Cambodia. Like a whopping 49%! He thinks it's gonna bring all the jobs back to the US. Seriously? Does he think we're all just gonna start sewing sweatpants all day? Get real! I'm way too good for that!

Respect My Authoritah!!

This Casey Barnett guy president of some fancy pants American Chamber of Commerce in Cambodia says it's not gonna happen. He's like 'Dude Americans don't WANT to sew sweatpants.' And he's right! We want to play video games and eat cheesy poofs! But Trump's like 'No! We need to MAKE America great again!' Even though it already is duh!

Kick Ass Tariff Plans

So these companies are looking at moving to Egypt Africa India Indonesia! Basically anywhere BUT the US. They're all scared of the tariffs and are like 'oh we are unsure what to do'. It's all a big mess and it is not cool you guys. I am so unamused by this. This is worse than when Kyle won that stupid spelling bee and I was robbed from my victory!

Screw You Guys I'm Going Home... To Shop Online!

This is gonna raise prices too! So all the poor people and Americans buying cheap clothes and crap it is their loss and now things will become more expensive. I as a privileged white male am entitled to fair prices but oh well it is what it is screw them all.

Blame Canada Blame Canada!!

And what's worse? These companies are also looking at countries that are doing badly such as Vietnam or Cambodia. I do not like it. They should come to South Park where everything is beautiful and perfect. I will be waiting... as long as they bring me presents and respect my authoritah.

I'm Not Fat I'm Big Boned!

So basically Trump is trying to fix the trade deficit and be all 'America first!' But it's just gonna make stuff more expensive and screw over poor people in Cambodia. It makes me want to yell at him. You know what screw this. I'm going home and eating cheesy poofs while I figure out how to be rich. This is all stupid. Blame Canada!