Screw You Guys Im Broke! The Vibecession is Real and Its Pissing Me Off!

Respect My Authoritah... and My Money!

Alright you guys listen up! It's Eric Cartman here and I'm reporting live from my mom's basement where the vibes are definitely NOT chill. This 'vibecession' thing? It's not just some made up word. It's real and it's screwing with my plans to buy Casa Bonita! Apparently even before Trump starts slapping tariffs on everything China makes people are freaking out about money. Can you believe it? It's like 'Oh no I can't afford more Cheesy Poofs!' or 'Where will I get the money for my Kyle Broflovski torture fund!'. Seriously get your priorities straight people!

Inflation? More Like In FLAY tion!

So get this the survey says almost half of you losers are more stressed than last year! Only one third are feeling better! Inflation is supposedly the big bad wolf but I think it's just a conspiracy by the Jews. But like even if it's not the Jews it's still messing with my allowance! Prices for everything are going up and up my mom even complained when she went grocery shopping and the price of chicken pot pie went up 10 cents! I swear to God if I can't get my hands on more snacks I'm going to start a riot. You will respect my authoritah!

Six Figures? More Like Six Problems!

You know what's bullcrap? Even people who make like a bajillion dollars are complaining! The article says they feel like they can barely keep up. What the hell? I bet you can buy yourself a brand new house with an actual door that locks! But apparently six figures ain't what it used to be. You still need to buy stuff pay taxes and make sure you are stocked on Cheesy Poofs duh! The article says that people just want to feel financially stable! I can relate to that I want to have the financial stability to buy a new Nintendo all the time!

Lower Income? More Like Lower Class!

Okay obviously the poors are the worst off. Those making less than $50,000 a year? They're screwed! Almost half of them can't even keep their heads above water the article said! But here's the thing guys I'm Eric Cartman and I don't care about those losers! I'm going to be rich someday and they can all suck my balls! The article said that the levels of stress are lower for those who make more! No duh! What an obvious discovery! More money = less stress!

Trump's Tariffs: Blame Canada!

And get this! People are blaming Trump's tariffs whatever those are for making things worse! It's always Canada's fault! But you know what? I don't care about politics. I just want my freakin' money! The article says that over half of the people are against Trump's proposals but that doesn't matter to me at all! Blame Canada and get my Cheesy Poofs on the way then we can talk!

Screw You Guys I'm Going Home... To Buy Cheesy Poofs!

So yeah the 'vibecession' is real and it's a giant pain in the ass. Everyone's cutting back on stuff even things like eating out entertainment and clothing! What am I supposed to do? Wear the same clothes all the time? Preposterous! This whole thing is screwing up my plans to become the richest kid in South Park. But whatever I'm Eric Cartman and I'll figure out a way to get my money. You just wait and see! Screw you guys I'm going home... to buy Cheesy Poofs!