SWEET! Qatar Gives Trump a FREE Air Force One! Screw You Guys, I'm Getting a Plane Too!

Respect My Authoritah!

Alright listen up you guys. So apparently the Trump administration—which let's be honest was way better than what we got now screw you guys—got a freakin' Boeing 747 from Qatar! A freakin' *luxury* plane! Can you believe it? Like seriously I try to get a buck from my mom for cheesy poofs and these guys are getting freakin' AIRPLANES! It's not fair it's not fair at all! I want a luxury jet! Waaah!

Boeing is So Lame!

So Boeing was supposed to be makin' new Air Force Ones but they're like super late. Trump was probably all pissed I bet. And he should be! I'd be throwin' a total hissy fit if I was him. Seriously what's takin' so long? It's not like they're building a freakin' space shuttle! Although a space shuttle would be way cooler. Maybe Qatar has a spare one of those lying around too?

400 Million Dollars Dude!

This Qatari jet is worth like $400 million! Holy crap! That's enough money to buy like a billion cheesy poofs! Or maybe just a really really big amusement park dedicated to me. But get this they say it'll cost over a BILLION dollars to turn it into an Air Force One. That's just insane! Why can't they just leave it as a luxury jet? Then I could fly it!

Democrats are Being Total Douchebags!

Of course the Democrats are all whinin' and complainin' sayin' it's a bribe. A bribe! As if! They're just jealous because they didn't get a free plane. Screw them seriously! They can all suck my balls! Maybe if they were nicer they'd get free stuff too. But nooooo they gotta be all PC and stuff. It's so lame!

Even Republicans are Whining!

Even some Republicans are bein' whiny little babies! Senator Susan Collins (whoever that is) says it's “rife with political espionage ethical and constitutional problems.” What ev er! It's a free plane! What's the big deal? Just take the plane and shut up! These guys are all a bunch of hippie crybabies!

I'm Not Fat I'm Big Boned!

Trump says it's “stupid” not to take a free jet. And you know what? He's right! I mean if someone offered me a free lifetime supply of cheesy poofs you bet your ass I'd take it! And then I'd shove it in my mouth as fast as I could! Besides it's not like Trump's keeping the plane for himself. He said it's going to the U.S. government. So quit your bitchin' you guys!