Respect My Authoritah! Trump Says Gas is Cheap, But Reality Sucks Like Kyle's Mom!

Screw You Guys I'm Going Home... to the Gas Station!

Okay listen up you Butterses! President Trump that dude who's like totally gonna make America great again (or whatever) is saying gas is like super cheap now. He's all "Gasoline just broke $1.98 a Gallon lowest in years!" on his Truth Social thingy. He wants the Fed to lower interest rates and stop being such a ding dong. But seriously screw you guys I'm going home... to complain about gas prices because this is horse crap!

Whatevah Whatevah I Do What I Want! (Even If It's Wrong)

Turns out like always Trump's talking out of his ass. AAA (not the battery company you idiots) says the average price is more like $3.165 a gallon. That's like a whole dollar more than Trump's fairy tale! It's almost like politicians lie or something. Whatevah whatevah I do what I want... which is fill my Hummer 'cause respect my authoritah!

RBOB? More Like R B OH CRAP!

So apparently Trump's team is talking about some fancy thing called RBOB gasoline futures. Sounds like something Kyle would be into. Some nerd at GasBuddy Patrick De Haan says that's just for analysts and big companies. It doesn't include taxes transportation or the fact that like everything costs money to run a damn business. It's all just one big conspiracy I tell you!

Kick the Baby! (But Don't Kick the Gas Prices Down)

De Haan says RBOB is irrelevant to regular people. DUH! It's like trying to explain the internet to Kenny's family they just won't get it! So yeah Trump's bragging about stuff that doesn't even matter to us normal folks trying to buy some Cheesy Poofs and drive our cars. Biden is also at fault here! Both are dumb!

Screw You Guys Maybe Gas Will Be Cheaper Later?

Okay so MAYBE gas prices will drop below $3 soon because of... stuff. Refinery stuff and supply and demand stuff. Basically the same crap they always say. But right now things are expensive and it's all Biden's and Trump's fault! It's like blaming Canada for everything it's just easier that way.

Blame Canada! Blame Everyone!

The White House is saying it's all Trump's magic touch that's making gas cheaper. They say gas hit record lows when he was president and it's happening again because he's unleashing American energy. I say it's all a bunch of lies and propaganda! Blame Canada! Blame the Jews! Blame global warming! Just blame someone! Also I want my Cheesy Poofs NOW!